image courtesy of Metrolic.You can't avoid Postpartum Depression. You can't hide from it either. But you can plan for it.
I know that sounds weird. Who plans for depression? No one is counting on mental illness. Well I planned for it, or at least I made arrangements in case it happened.
I suffered from depression on and off for years as a teenager. Then just a few years ago after returning from a trip to Brazil I was bombarded by anxiety and panic attacks. I'd never had a panic attack in my life and I wouldn't have called myself an overly anxious person. It just came out of the blue for no reason. Eventually I started taking medication to keep the anxiety away and although I'm pretty sure I could now do without I've continued taking the drug, just in case. Because of my history I have an increased risk of suffering from Postpartum Depression.
I knew that if I ever got pregnant the drugs I was on would be an issue so a couple of years ago I searched for who I would turn to in case it ever happened. That's when I found The BC Reproductive Mental Health Program. Of course at the time I wasn't in any stage of reproducing so I wasn't a candidate, but I hung onto the number just in case.
Then last February after an unexpected positive symbol slowly appeared on my pregnancy test I called my doctor and asked her to refer me.
The program is run out of BC Women's Hospital. It's an amazing program that provides free services to "women and their families dealing with emotional difficulties related to pregnancy".
I started seeing a councilor right away, she stayed with me throughout my pregnancy and continues to see me now. I think the counselling is available up until one year postpartum but I can't quite remember now. I also have a psychiatrist assigned to me who checks in once in awhile.
Together they helped me decide how to safely proceed with my pregnancy and my medication. For me the best option was to continue to take a significantly reduced dose throughout my pregnancy. I also planned on increasing the dose just after delivery to ensure that I didn't lose my mind with the sudden decrease in hormones.
Having the appointments with the councilors is a great asset to my overall health. During the pregnancy they helped me stay informed on my medication and any risk factors I had and provided therapy session every month. Since Babe was born I still go for counselling every month to talk about any stresses or concerns I have.
I took other steps as well to help keep me sane after Babe was born:
Like many pregnant women I nested like crazy. I knew I would be exhausted with a new baby so not only did I have the house spotless, I also did a giant grocery shop. I stocked up on everything from snacks to toilet paper and I cooked a lot of dinners and froze them. This extra work in the final weeks of pregnancy saved me a lot time after Babe arrived. Time I could use for much needed sleep.
I read many books on Postpartum Depression while I was pregnant so that I would be well informed on risk factors, red flags and treatment options. One book I found particularly helpful was Sleepless Days by Susan Kushner Resnick. The book is a first hand account of the depression Resnick suffered after the birth of her son. My midwife clinic had a library of pregnancy and parenting books so I was well versed on all things pregnancy by the end of mine.
I also made a list of people that I knew I could count on for help if I needed it. I had enough family and friends on the list that I could have counted on having someone visit and help out every day. I think it is important for a mother who is suffering from PPD to have a time of day to look forward to when she knows someone is coming to relieve her. To know that someone is coming to take the baby for a walk or clean the kitchen. I didn't need my list but it was good to have.
After I settled in with Babe I made some other arrangements just in case:
I started getting out for walks every day. As a nanny I could never handle staying indoors with the kids all day. I would get cabin fever on days when it was simply too miserable to venture out. So of course, even though my baby was born at the start of winter I have been out for a walk almost every day. If the weather is miserable I will often walk up to the mall and then just walk laps in there. It's dry and warm and Babe will usually sleep right through it.
Exercise has always been a stress reliever for me. It makes me feel better emotionally and physically. Plus having this extra baby weight is weighing me down emotionally so it is important to me that I work to rid myself of this extra burden. Unfortunately J is so busy with school that he doesn't have the time to watch Babe while I go for a run and Babe is still too fussy to sit in her car seat while I work out in our building's gym. But I did get my parents to come on the weekend so that I could go for a run and I bought myself some new jogging gear to help motivate me. I can also do Pilates at home while Babe plays beside me on the floor and I am hoping I can find a mom and baby yoga class in the neighbourhood before Babe is too mobile for it to work.
It was also important to me that I had people to talk to and socialize with after Babe arrived. I recently started attending Baby Days which is hosted by our local health nurses. Every Thursday Babe and I go to class where we sit and chat with other mom's and babies about issues with motherhood. Each day has a theme like Sleep or Play. Last week we had a guest lecturer talk to us about PPD and then all the moms said what they found the most difficult and what they do that's just for them. It's great to be with other moms who share the same worries or who have different solutions to common parenting problems. It's helpful to know that other moms have bad days too and it's a nice social outing for both babe and me.
And just knowing where to turn before things get out of control is helpful for me. Here are a couple other helpful links:
Motherisk is a support program which is run out of The Hospital For Sick Children (SickKids) in Toronto. It provides counseling and information on medications and illnesses during pregnancy.
Motherisk: www.motherisk.org
And in Vancouver:
The Pacific Post Partum Support Society provides over the phone counseling, support groups and group speakers/presentations in the Lower Mainland.
www.postpartum.org or call: 604-255-7999
I've been really lucky. My pregnancy was pretty easy and although my baby is crying too much and sleeping too little for my taste she is basically happy and healthy. Aside from a few emotional days in the first week and the frustration of the witching hour I have thankfully managed to avoid depression. Maybe I never would have had Postpartum Depression, or maybe planning ahead helped me steer clear of it, hell maybe it'll still pop up, but I'm glad that I recognized that I was at risk and took the steps I did, just in case.
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