Happy Valentine's Day.

I was hoping to make some cute Valentine's Day crafts for Babe but of course I have no time to do it. I guess I'll have to save the ideas until next year.

So today I'm just posting a couple pics of Babe in her Valentine's Day sweater. It was a gift from my aunt and uncle in Alberta and I saved it for today.

We went out for dinner tonight and Babe was entertaining a big table of couples. They loved her. One of the couples gave her a long-stemmed red rose.

And here is a Valentine's Day present from Grandma. It's two little jewelry boxes. One that will hold a lock of her hair and one that will hold her first tooth. I've seen many versions of these all over but I loved this one with the little horse and carriage design. How cute is it?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Recall Panic.

photo courtesy of Bumbo.

As a nanny I used the Bumbo seat and I always thought that it was great. So of course I wanted one for my baby.

They are so expensive here in Canada but luckily my girlfriend who lives in the states got me one for a baby gift.

I have been so excited to try it out. I've just been waiting for Babe's neck and back to get a little stronger. The product recommends waiting until three months and now that Babe is three and a bit months I've been sitting her in it for a few minutes each day. I keep my hand near her head for support because I think three months is a bit liberal and parents should probably wait a little longer. My baby still isn't strong enough in the neck and back to sit in it alone or for longer than a couple minutes. But in my opinion it's great for older babies.

However the other night I was searching online to read what other people said about starting to use their Bumbos and I found out that they had been recalled in 2007. Here is a link to Health Canada's recall info (2008).

They were recalled after babies were injured from falling out of the Bumbos and off of high surfaces. Parents were placing their babies in the Bumbos on counters and tables. I've been in restaurants where I have seen this occurring (the Bumbos on tables, not babies actually falling out - they aren't dropping like flies at restaurants across the country).

So should I panic and try to unload this thing on an unsuspecting parent via Craigslist? No. I'm happy with mine and I'm looking forward to using it more.

I think it is important to be aware of any risks associated with a product but it is also equally important to realize that many of the injuries associated with this product are the result of improper use and inadequate supervision. As with anything we purchase for our children it is our responsibility to be informed on its proper use, its ingredients, its restrictions etc...

It is important to know that babies can wiggle out of the Bumbos and fall. Because of this risk Bumbo states that the seat be used only on the ground. The company chose not to install seat belts or other restraints on the product and merely recalled the seats in order to place a warning sticker on the chairs.

Maybe I'm being too judgemental but it never occurred to me that the chairs would restrain a baby. All you have to do is look at the thing to know it isn't restrictive. It has no bloody straps or ties people! I certainly wouldn't have placed a baby I was babysitting on a counter while I made dinner and I didn't need a warning label to tell me that.

I think recalls need to be taken with a grain of salt. Baby products and practices change so quickly almost everything that was once made for babies has been recalled or changed. RIP walkers and drop-side cribs.

It's not just products. Up until last year swaddling was highly recommended. Books like The Happiest Baby On The Block touted swaddling as a saving grace for cranky babies and exhausted parents. But when I delivered Babe three months ago the hospital had signs everywhere warning against swaddling and our health nurses are now saying it increases the risk of SIDS. I still swaddle Babe at our doctor's recommendation (she didn't even know about the new swaddling rules).

And vaccinations - what gets combined and what gets given when, is constantly changing.

Recalls are a good thing. Certainly products that pose a significant risk even when the directions are properly followed should be taken off the market. Remember the poisoned baby formula? Or all the toys that have been painted with lead?

But recalling every item that ever caused an injury is over the top. There are children all over the world playing with all sorts of "dangerous" things. I bet there are thousands of kids that at this very moment have rocks in their mouths.

I'd wager a bet that waaaay more children crack their skulls by falling off playgrounds than out of Bumbos. Does this mean we should tear down all the playgrounds. Maybe our kids should just sit in the middle (because the middle of anything is the safest) of the school yard playing with foam pool noodles. But I bet somewhere a kid strangled himself with one of those. And they certainly can't play with balls. Those things are deadly! Recently a Toronto school banned them.

What is this world coming to?

We've become a society of overly indulgent, overly paranoid parents. And we've been so inundated with warning signs that we almost don't think for ourselves anymore. Using the Bumbo, just like any other product, requires a little common sense.

In the past I used it to allow a baby to sit comfortably and engage easily while we played with older siblings on the floor, not as a device for strengthening weak muscles or as a high chair.

Although the Bumbo is no longer under recall and still available there is information that indicates that babies have been injured recently and while using the seat on the floor - again because they can wriggle out and fall over. So maybe don't sit it on a hard floor either? Or just make sure to have an ice pack in the freezer.

If it turns out that the seat is dangerous even when used properly then I guess it'll go the way of the walker - but it would be a shame. All of the proceeds generated from the South African product go to the care and support of under-privileged children.

If you are still worried about the Bumbo's track record the nearly identical bebePod seat has safety straps.

PS: On a side note, doesn't it look like they took the hair off a guy in a shaving cream commercial and glued in on a baby in that photo? That baby has a lot of hair.

Amber or Wood?

Babe has started teething. Don't get too excited. There aren't any little white buds bursting through. Teething can be a long process. She drools everywhere and is chewing so hard on her hand that I'm afraid she may gnaw it off altogether! She is also so uncomfortable that she is waking up every hour or so throughout the night, which I'm not enjoying.

So I went out in search of an amber teething necklace. Now, I am very skeptical about the effectiveness of this little accessory. But what the hell? I'll give it a go. I am however mildly concerned about the safety of these necklaces.

The necklaces are supposed to work by releasing Succinic Acid from the amber into the skin. Succinic Acid is used in various medications such as sedatives and antiplegms. There is a lot of doubt that this seepage is even possible (here's a great blog post about this) never mind at all beneficial but parents all over the world swear by it and amber has been used medicinally for hundreds of years.

I was mostly concerned about the safety of having a necklace on my baby. It seems a little foolhardy to put any jewelry on a baby, especially a necklace, which could pose a choking or strangulation hazard. The amber necklaces usually have a knot between each bead to prevent it from exploding beads all over the place. And the clasp is designed to break before it chokes. Still I wouldn't leave it on an unattended baby and I also wouldn't leave it on all night.

When I went to buy one today two things happened: First, I found an amber anklet for Babe. This immediately relieved my fears of strangulation. Yay! And if it does break while I'm not looking, an anklet is further away from her mouth than a necklace is. This extra distance might buy me a few more seconds to notice the disaster before Babe gets the beads into her mouth. The second thing was that the store I bought it from was also selling Hazelwood teething necklaces, which I've never heard of.

Amber Glow Teething Anklet

Apparently Hazelwood absorbs excess acid through the skin. People use these necklaces for ailments such as eczema, heartburn and migraines, and baby ailments such as diaper rash and teething.

I couldn't decide between the two so I bought both to try. Here is the website for the brand of Hazelwood necklace that I purchased.

Both types of necklaces are designed to be used 24 hours a day and according to the seller's websites the more of it that is in contact with the skin the more beneficial.

Pur Noisetier Hazelwood Necklace

I however will not be leaving either one on Babe for 24 hours. Partly because I don't think it's safe for her to wear them while we're sleeping and partly because if they do in fact work I'm uncomfortable with them emitting anything into her skin in large amounts or over long periods of time. Just because it's natural does not mean it is safe!

Breaking the 24 hour rule may mean that I won't see the benefits that other parents have seen, but I'll let you know how the trials went and which I prefer.

If you've tried either and found success or failure post a comment below.

Planning for Postpartum Depression.

image courtesy of Metrolic.

You can't avoid Postpartum Depression. You can't hide from it either. But you can plan for it.

I know that sounds weird. Who plans for depression? No one is counting on mental illness. Well I planned for it, or at least I made arrangements in case it happened.

I suffered from depression on and off for years as a teenager. Then just a few years ago after returning from a trip to Brazil I was bombarded by anxiety and panic attacks. I'd never had a panic attack in my life and I wouldn't have called myself an overly anxious person. It just came out of the blue for no reason. Eventually I started taking medication to keep the anxiety away and although I'm pretty sure I could now do without I've continued taking the drug, just in case. Because of my history I have an increased risk of suffering from Postpartum Depression.

I knew that if I ever got pregnant the drugs I was on would be an issue so a couple of years ago I searched for who I would turn to in case it ever happened. That's when I found The BC Reproductive Mental Health Program. Of course at the time I wasn't in any stage of reproducing so I wasn't a candidate, but I hung onto the number just in case.

Then last February after an unexpected positive symbol slowly appeared on my pregnancy test I called my doctor and asked her to refer me.

The program is run out of BC Women's Hospital. It's an amazing program that provides free services to "women and their families dealing with emotional difficulties related to pregnancy".

I started seeing a councilor right away, she stayed with me throughout my pregnancy and continues to see me now. I think the counselling is available up until one year postpartum but I can't quite remember now. I also have a psychiatrist assigned to me who checks in once in awhile.

Together they helped me decide how to safely proceed with my pregnancy and my medication. For me the best option was to continue to take a significantly reduced dose throughout my pregnancy. I also planned on increasing the dose just after delivery to ensure that I didn't lose my mind with the sudden decrease in hormones.

Having the appointments with the councilors is a great asset to my overall health. During the pregnancy they helped me stay informed on my medication and any risk factors I had and provided therapy session every month. Since Babe was born I still go for counselling every month to talk about any stresses or concerns I have.

I took other steps as well to help keep me sane after Babe was born:

Like many pregnant women I nested like crazy. I knew I would be exhausted with a new baby so not only did I have the house spotless, I also did a giant grocery shop. I stocked up on everything from snacks to toilet paper and I cooked a lot of dinners and froze them. This extra work in the final weeks of pregnancy saved me a lot time after Babe arrived. Time I could use for much needed sleep.

I read many books on Postpartum Depression while I was pregnant so that I would be well informed on risk factors, red flags and treatment options. One book I found particularly helpful was Sleepless Days by Susan Kushner Resnick. The book is a first hand account of the depression Resnick suffered after the birth of her son. My midwife clinic had a library of pregnancy and parenting books so I was well versed on all things pregnancy by the end of mine.

I also made a list of people that I knew I could count on for help if I needed it. I had enough family and friends on the list that I could have counted on having someone visit and help out every day. I think it is important for a mother who is suffering from PPD to have a time of day to look forward to when she knows someone is coming to relieve her. To know that someone is coming to take the baby for a walk or clean the kitchen. I didn't need my list but it was good to have.

After I settled in with Babe I made some other arrangements just in case:

I started getting out for walks every day. As a nanny I could never handle staying indoors with the kids all day. I would get cabin fever on days when it was simply too miserable to venture out. So of course, even though my baby was born at the start of winter I have been out for a walk almost every day. If the weather is miserable I will often walk up to the mall and then just walk laps in there. It's dry and warm and Babe will usually sleep right through it.

Exercise has always been a stress reliever for me. It makes me feel better emotionally and physically. Plus having this extra baby weight is weighing me down emotionally so it is important to me that I work to rid myself of this extra burden. Unfortunately J is so busy with school that he doesn't have the time to watch Babe while I go for a run and Babe is still too fussy to sit in her car seat while I work out in our building's gym. But I did get my parents to come on the weekend so that I could go for a run and I bought myself some new jogging gear to help motivate me. I can also do Pilates at home while Babe plays beside me on the floor and I am hoping I can find a mom and baby yoga class in the neighbourhood before Babe is too mobile for it to work.

It was also important to me that I had people to talk to and socialize with after Babe arrived. I recently started attending Baby Days which is hosted by our local health nurses. Every Thursday Babe and I go to class where we sit and chat with other mom's and babies about issues with motherhood. Each day has a theme like Sleep or Play. Last week we had a guest lecturer talk to us about PPD and then all the moms said what they found the most difficult and what they do that's just for them. It's great to be with other moms who share the same worries or who have different solutions to common parenting problems. It's helpful to know that other moms have bad days too and it's a nice social outing for both babe and me.

And just knowing where to turn before things get out of control is helpful for me. Here are a couple other helpful links:

Motherisk is a support program which is run out of The Hospital For Sick Children (SickKids) in Toronto. It provides counseling and information on medications and illnesses during pregnancy.

Motherisk: www.motherisk.org

And in Vancouver:

The Pacific Post Partum Support Society provides over the phone counseling, support groups and group speakers/presentations in the Lower Mainland.

www.postpartum.org or call: 604-255-7999

I've been really lucky. My pregnancy was pretty easy and although my baby is crying too much and sleeping too little for my taste she is basically happy and healthy. Aside from a few emotional days in the first week and the frustration of the witching hour I have thankfully managed to avoid depression. Maybe I never would have had Postpartum Depression, or maybe planning ahead helped me steer clear of it, hell maybe it'll still pop up, but I'm glad that I recognized that I was at risk and took the steps I did, just in case.

Just Sharing.

Just wanted to share this. While I hope to only breastfeed for a year I found this really touching and well-written.

What I see when I breastfeed my toddler | Today's Parent

Baby Jewelry.

For Christmas I wanted to get a ring made to commemorate my baby's birth. I knew I wanted the letters stamped into the ring and not engraved but I couldn't find a local engraver that did stamping. Then one day I was in one of my favorite stores Blue Ruby and I saw a collection of jewelry by Andrea Waines. Waines is a local designer who creates beautiful silver jewelry with various messages and affirmations hand-stamped into the pieces. The pieces she sells at Blue Ruby are all necklaces and bracelets but I had my heart set on a ring. I contacted her and asked if she would custom make me a ring. She did and it's perfect. The matte finish silver band has Babe's name on one side and her birth date on the other. I wear it everyday.

And here are a few other pieces I have for Babe:

This is my gold ID bracelet from when I was a baby. For whatever reason my parents never had it engraved so the plate is still blank. I'll take it and have it engraved for Babe. It's tiny for a tiny little wrist.

Every year before Christmas some local Native American artisans come to the building that my mother works in to sell their crafts. My mom bought these sweet little beaded angel earrings for Babe. Of course she'll have to wait until she is much older to wear them.

I'm not really a fan of pearls. Fake is fine but I remember the saying, "Right now an oyster is being robbed of it's sole possession" from the old Van Halen music video for "Right Now" (which is still one of my all-time favorites). Even though oysters are just shellfish the saying has always stuck with me and I've never bought pearls because of it. But what's done is done and when I was a toddler my grandparents bought this tiny pearl necklace from an antique store in England. Now I have it for Babe.

In The News.

photo: shutterstock

I hate to admit that these last two months I haven't picked up the newspaper (or magazines, or books) all that much. Babe won't let me put her down long enough to read anything that requires more time then what I spend on the toilet (sorry).

But a friend of mine has sent me some links to some interesting articles and I've managed to come across a couple on my iPhone during late night feeding sessions so I thought I would share the links here. Enjoy.

An interesting article on our expectations of ourselves and our new babies:

http://www.conscienceparenting.com/2011/12/29/the-inconvenience-of-having-children/

A recent news story out of Vancouver:

Charity gives questionable abortion advice: investigation | CTV News

I either read this somewhere else or saw the author interviewed somewhere. Wherever I first heard about this it was probably at three in the morning when I was half asleep. A real eye-opener for me. I'll admit I'm as guilty as the next guy when it comes to instinctively complimenting little girls on their cute appearance.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html

Just kinda cool:

ScienceShot: Human Hearts Beat Together - ScienceNOW

For the Dads out there:

Colic: One dad tells it like it is | Today's Parent

During my years as a nanny I learned from my own mistakes with other people's kids (sorry). How you speak really does rub off on your children. It wasn't until I heard one of my little charges saying "um" all the time that I realized she was learning it from me.

It's not just our language either, it's our body language as well. Another charge was only two when I noticed he was covering his hand with his sleeve before he touched door knobs just like I did. I didn't even know he was paying attention.

Urban Baby and Toddler Magazine

Hope you find these articles as interesting as I did.

The Trap.

"Breastfeeding is a trap!"

I yelled this at J on a particularly frustrating day last week. Of course it's not really a trap but it feels like it sometimes.

I've made no secret about Babe's fussiness these first two months. Like I've said before she has terrible gas that causes her to writhe in pain and scream bloody murder. It's painful for her and I'm certain it's even more painful to watch. She also has reflux, not bad, but enough to upset her regularly. And as if the gas and reflux wasn't bad enough, she also works herself into such a frenzy that she gags, chokes and actually stops breathing. While this only lasts a few seconds it's terrifying every time.

So on the quest to solve these problems - or at least decrease their intensity, we've tried a ton of things (which I mentioned a little in a previous post).

In December Babe had an appointment with a pediatrician to address these issues. He said that the problem was reflux and prescribed her Ranitidine. I asked about the possibility that she has an intolerance for dairy (which has been mentioned to me by many people as a possible source of her discontent) and was told that it was unlikely given her other symptoms.

I had been putting off going dairy free because it's in so much of what I eat so that afternoon I had a big bowl of ice cream.

Fuck! I paid for that one and so did Babe. That evening was the worst EVER! I couldn't handle another night like that and I woke up the next morning to face my life (or at least a trial week of it) dairy free.

So last week when I yelled at J about feeling trapped I was on day two of no dairy. No milk in my decaf coffee, no ice cream on my brownie, no pizza, no cereal etc... and on month two of not being able to leave my baby's side for fear that she will be so upset by the absence of the boobies that she will choke and turn blue. This on top of all the other things I gave up when I got pregnant (ex: smokes and booze). Not that I was ever much of a party girl but I did like a glass of red wine in the evening or the occasional night at the pub with my friends.

Now my riskiest behaviour is leaving the house without nursing pads in my bra.

And I always get the fussy baby because when she is happy J, my parents and everyone else want to cuddle her but when she starts to scream she is thrust back into my arms with the assumption that she needs my boobs (which is really only true once every couple of hours). And I always get up with her in the night because of the boobies.

This is, of course, the way it should be. I'm her Mommy and I love that I can comfort her. But on hour three of a crying jag when she has already eaten and J could just as easily pace the floor with her, the comfort my boobies provide her forces me to be the one that suffers the hearing damage.

Then there's the fidgety nursing bras, the piles of nursing pads, the vitamins, the pumping and the bonus that one boob produces waaaaay more milk than the other. I can't leave the house until the afternoon because in the mornings I have one B cup and one D cup.

It is really important to me that Babe gets breast milk. That is why I cried so much the first week when we had to supplement with formula - well, that and the hormones. Not only is it so good for the baby it has it's other perks as well, not the least of which is that it's free and portable.

And the closeness is beautiful. I know it'll get easier and that I shouldn't complain. But no one tells you how hard it can be. Before baby is born you just think that he or she will come out and know how to latch and the milk will flow and that will be the one thing that just works.

But some babies can't latch and some mothers get mastitis. Yes, breastfeeding is best - but to me, once in awhile, it has felt like a trap.

I think it is important for mothers to know that just because it is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Just because you are committed to it doesn't mean you don't feel like quitting. And just because it's good for the baby doesn't mean you have to do it.

I dedicate this post to my good friend K and all of the new mommies who have fought with their boobies in the first few months of nursing.

PS: I don't think the no dairy or the medication has made any difference.

The Photo Shoot.

So one thing on my baby to do list was to get newborn shots of Babe. Unfortunately since the hospital kept me in longer and Babe was having such a tough go in the beginning we missed out on the chance to get the early photos taken.

But a few weeks ago we said "colic be damned" and headed over to meet my friend Kendra Coupland of Redivivus Photography for a photo shoot.

Babe has been pretty fussy since birth and that day was no exception. I couldn't get her to settle into a sound sleep for some sleepy baby pics and because she was naked during the shoot we had a few hilarious accidents but we ended up with a bunch of great family shots.

Photography has always been an important part of my life and these photos of our little angel are priceless. I'm so glad that we made the time to have them done and that I can share a couple of them here.

Thanks Kendra for the beautiful photos.

The Cat Came Back.

I have two cats. They are high maintenance cats. One needs a lot of love and cuddles and one has a ton of energy and is rather naughty when cooped up in an apartment. So I knew when I had the baby I would want a break from my feline friends until I was back on my feet.

When I went into labour I called my mom to come and pick them up. My plan was to bring the lovey one home after a week or two and leave the energetic one with my parents for a couple of months.

But Babe was so fussy when we brought her home and slept so poorly and I was recovering from a cesarean so days turned into weeks and weeks turned into two months. So I only just brought my one cat home this week.

I've had my female orange tabby for almost twelve years now. She has been a constant companion and source of comfort throughout that time. She is a sweet little angel who wants nothing more than to sleep on the bed with me at night and follow me around during the day. She has been my baby...until recently.

No one could love their cats more than I do. Yet even so, having a baby changed what I feel for my kitties. As much as I missed them and knew that my lovey cat was sorely missing my affections and needed to come home, I was just so besotted with Babe and so tired from lack of sleep I didn't have the energy to rescue her from my parents any sooner.

She is home now. Has been for a few days. And it isn't going well.

She is so starved for affection that she wants to be comforted all the time. But Babe still doesn't sleep well and bawls when she is abandoned for even a few moments, so she's on me most of the time which leaves only an out-stretched foot to stroke the cat. Which the cat finds unsatisfying. She tries to cuddle with J and he is giving her some love but he's never been her biggest fan and therefore doesn't prioritize much time for her.

And she is a little stressed out and off her food...but still hungry. So she paces the apartment meowing which is driving both J and I crazy and nearly brings me to tears when she wakes the baby from the little sleep she does get. Not to mention that J is miserable without sleep and I pay dearly the next day when my cat keeps him up at night.

So what do I do? I love her and I take my responsibility as a pet owner seriously. I don't think it's fair to dump my animals because a baby has come into my life. But it's a little too much right now.

She could stay longer with my parents, the other cat certainly enjoys being there and playing outside, but while my parents are willing to have the cats at their house they don't bother much with stroking and cuddles. I know my tabby was lonely without me and needs my attention. But I am already stretched so thin by Babe's needs I have little time or patience left for the kitties.

I'm hoping with a little love, some different cat food and the help of a spray bottle I may be able to limp my little family along until Babe is settled into a schedule and the cats are relaxed again. But if lovey cat doesn't smarten up either she will be leaving for Grandma's house or J will be leaving for a bachelor pad.

Poor kitty. For years she has been my baby, now she is my other baby.