I'm Flying Mommy! Part 1.

Recently Babe and I went on a trip to Washington D.C. to visit a long time friend and her baby who was born shortly after mine.

While I was fully confident in my ability to travel alone with her (J. stayed home) I admit I was a little apprehensive about the flights.

Mostly I was worried about Babe's behaviour. She is a notorious loud-mouth. As I've mentioned before she's been quite the little screamer since day one. And in the weeks leading up to the trip she developed a nasty habit of shrieking just for the hell of it. It doesn't seem to matter what I do to try to curb the behaviour, sometimes she is determined to scream.

And of course she hates the car.

So as much as I was looking forward to the trip I was dreading the flight there. I really didn't want to be the lady with the screaming kid that everyone hates.

I might as well admit now that I am also afraid of flying, so that too was weighing on my mind.

I have experience with kids and flights. Back when I nannied I used to get the kids ready for flights with their families and I also flew with my charges. So I have a few ways of controlling the mayhem on the flight, but of course most of my tricks wouldn't work with a baby.

None of my ideas are rocket science but in case you're yet to hit the tarmac with your own brood here are some things to try when planning your flight.


Clothes:

• Dress your kid(s) comfortably. Some families like their children to look cute or even dressy for a flight. Don't make your daughter wear a frilly dress on the plane, no matter how adorable it is. Do you like flying in business attire or ball gowns? Probably not. Make sure you have a clean cozy outfit ready for them. Sweats are a good bet or even a nice pair of jammies. The more comfortable your kid is the less they will squirm in their seat.

• Don't bother "doing" your daughter's hair. The style won't stay in, the hair accessories will fall under the seat and it'll be a constant fight to keep redoing it in cramped quarters. If you really want her to have a cute doo when she meets Grandma at the airport, bring the stuff you need in your carryon and do her hair just before you land.

• Layer. You might be leaving a cold climate and arriving in a warm one or vise versa. Or the airport might be air conditioned and the plane stifling. In any event, make sure the kids have a short sleeve under a long sleeve and if you're heading somewhere warm, a pair of shorts tucked in your carryon. If you have a baby, a messy toddler, sweaty kids or toilet training issues do not forget to pack an extra outfit. 

• If you are changing diapers make sure the outfit you pick is super easy access. The changing table in the airplane bathroom is the size of a cutting board and the bathroom itself is the size of a broom closet. A million snaps just won't do.

Toys:

• Bring toys that provide the most bang for their buck. Toys should not be too big. The smaller they are = the easier to pack = the more you can bring = the more fun they will have. 

• Noisy toys will definitely annoy other passengers. If your child absolutely loves a particular noisy toy weigh their enjoyment against the inevitable stink-eye from other passengers and decide if you want to bring it. DON'T bring it and then decide it will be too embarrassing and refuse to let them play with it. That's unfair and a guaranteed tantrum, plus you will still get the stink-eye because people will think you're an idiot. Any toys you want on the trip but not on the plane should be stowed out of sight out of mind. 

• Secretly pack a "last resort" toy that you know will stave off a meltdown and whip it out when all else fails. This will only work once so choose the time wisely (not 15 minutes into a six-hour flight).

• If you're willing, buy a few new toys, books, games or crafts to bring out as a fun surprise mid-flight.

• If you allow hand held game devices make sure it is on low volume or mute while in flight. If your kid is used to playing with the sound up, practice playing on mute for a few days before the trip. Bring extra batteries/charger. Like I said above, if you are willing to spend the money, bringing along a new game as a surprise will likely buy you a TON more quiet time if you get it out just as the old game is getting boring. Same goes for movies to play on the iPad or laptop. If you have a reader for sure pick up some new books.

• If you have a safe adult item (like keys) that your little one loves to get out of your purse...make sure it is in your purse.

• Play games like Eye Spy etc. in the airport while you are waiting for your flight so that you don't use up all the novelty of the airplane entertainment before you even board.

Packing:

• Pack what the kids will need in the carryon you plan to store at your feet. You are likely to only need access to your own stuff a few times during the flight. But a kid is going to need something every five minutes. All snacks, toys, tissues, wipes etc. should be in arms reach, not stowed in the overhead. 

• If you have a baby riding on your lap you'll want his stuff and yours in arms reach.

• Older toddlers and kids can carry their own bag. Make them. Little kids will usually be thrilled if they have their very own child-sized wheely suitcase. Allow your child to help pack their bag. Pack them light. Don't weigh down your four-year-old's Disney Princess suitcase with all the camera equipment and travel guides. No matter how sparkly it is she will abandon it halfway to security if it weighs a ton. 

• Make sure you have your kid's essential items in your carryon in case the airline loses your checked bags. As if you weren't carrying enough. Arriving without your bags is a huge drag but it will be easier on you if the kids have the things they need for 24 hours or so. Definitely have any medications they need with you in the carryon (or I always split mine up in case I lose the carryon) because if your luggage doesn't show you don't want to be running around a strange city trying to get a new prescription for Baby.

Seating:

• I've been told some flights have a bassinet seat. This is apparently a seat with extra leg room and a bassinet that you can place on the floor so when Baby nods off you can put them down. My flight did not have this option :( I read that you should ask ahead of time and even then there are no guarantees of getting it.

• You can chose your seats and you should. Either at the time of booking, a few days ahead of time or at check in, whichever. You may be in luck, if the flight is relatively empty you might be able to switch your seats to a row that is empty. Then you or the kids get to lay down during the flight. This luxury is becoming less and less common because flights are now often booked over capacity. But it's worth asking. Chose your seats wisely. I love the window, but with a baby on my lap the aisle made way more sense. Don't ever get stuck in the middle.

Safety:

• Sick kids suck. Sick kids on vacation suck more. If you're so inclined there are special preventative supplements you can take which claim to boost your immune system and stave off bugs. One is called Airborne. I've never tried them, don't know if they work or are safe to use. 

• And here is a whole web page that provides tips on avoiding germs on planes.

• Bring gum for older kids to chew when taking off and landing and a pacifier, teething ring or bottle for Baby.

• Babies under two can usually ride for free on your lap. This is a great way to save money. But there is some controversy over the safety of this. Opponents claim that babies can be injured in the event of turbulence or a rough landing (or...eeek...a crash) if they aren't secured in their own seat. There are safety restraints that you attach to yourself and Baby and special seats but check with your airline before hand to see which brand if any it allows. I also read that there may not be enough oxygen masks if there are two bodies to one seat. I freaked when I heard that but I don't know if it is true.

• Don't take your eyes off your kids in busy airports and don't have their name visible on their bags or clothes.

• Tell older kids what to do if they get separated from you.

Planning:

• Avoid layovers and transfers if at all possible. Direct flights are best. It's like ripping off a Band-Aid - just do it fast and get it over with.

• Bring food your kid likes. No one likes airplane food so your kid probably won't either. And there is never enough of it.

• Have all necessary documents on hand. This includes a letter of permission from your partner/spouse if you are taking your child out of the country without them.

• Missing your flight or showing up for a flight that was delayed or canceled sucks when you are single but it is going to be a HUGE pain in the ass when you are dragging a kid and all their gear along with you. TRUST ME! Call ahead to check on the status of the flight and double check your ticket (more on this in part two). 

• You practically have to get naked at security now. Be prepared, especially if you will be carrying your child. Wear shoes that easily slip on and off (because they have to come off). In fact...just do yourself a favour and wear tear-away pants a mesh shirt and no bra. Have all items that need to come out of the bag or need to be turned on in an easy-to-reach place. Don't wear metal jewelry, it will be hard to remove it all while holding your baby.

As it turned out Babe did really well on the flights and I was worried for nothing. But more on that in part two!

Babe on one of the cool rocking chairs at the Baltimore airport.

Sick Mommy.

So I've been really busy this past month but unfortunately most of it wasn't fun. First I had a breast infection caused by the antibiotics for my bout with mastitis. Then I had horrible food poisoning followed immediately with an excruciating tooth infection. And then this whole week has been wasted with a summer cold. Although you can't really call it a "summer cold" since Vancouver's summer hasn't even started yet - it's still mostly rain.

For the most part I have fallen into the rhythm of mommyhood...but that's when I'm healthy.

I've had plenty of practice being under the weather and saddled with kids. When I was a nanny I rarely phoned in sick. I felt bad doing it because it meant screwing up the parent's day and potentially causing them problems with their boss. So I usually just sucked it up, went in to work and had a TV day with my charges. But it always sucked having to cater to needy little monsters when I was feeling like death. As much as anyone loves babies and kids you're a liar if you don't admit that you just want them to bugger off and fend for themselves when you have the flu. But of course, as a nanny I still got to sleep through the nights undisturbed so it wasn't as bad as being a sick mommy.

Even though I know the drill being a sick mommy still sucks. Thank God I have a few tricks from my past. I pity all the poor first time mommies with no childcare experience that have to make it through their first illness with baby in tow. However my expertise still didn't stop me from running to my mommy when I fell ill.

I've always needed a lot of sleep and like most people, when I'm sick I need a lot more sleep. But getting sleep with a baby in the house is never easy. I was very lucky that my parents live close by and I was able to take Babe over to their house so they could watch her and I could focus on getting better.

The weekend that I had food poisoning and thought I was dying I spent almost the whole time under the covers and my mom would bring Babe to me when she needed cuddles or nursing. I don't know what I would've done without her.

Then the tooth infection kept me from getting sleep two nights in a row so when I finally was able to get an emergency root canal and was feeling better my mom again watched Babe so I could rest up.

After that we had a great trip to Washington D.C. and then right after I got home Babe and I caught a cold. This time my dad stepped up for me. Babe spent a few hours each day this week hanging with him in his office while I napped at my parent's house.

Here are the few tips I have for trying to survive motherhood while sick. Obviously if you can send the kids to daycare or hire a babysitter just do that.

• Sick days are sleep days. Do not try to cook or clean anything. When your child naps, just nap. Right away, stop what you're doing and lay the f**k down.

• Children need healthy food, but not on a sick day. Just feed them whatever will keep them alive until you're feeling better. Not candy, but anything remotely healthy that you don't have to fight with them to get down.

• Screw your no TV rule. As a nanny my kids rarely watched TV. But my deal for coming into work sick was that the kids would be watching the boob tube that day and if the parents didn't like it then I could just stay home. It's amazing what parents will allow a sitter to do when they have a business meeting in half an hour. If your kid is happy doing crafts or playing a board game independently than that's great but if they won't play without you then just put on a movie they love and doze beside them on the couch for two hours.  If your child is too young to sit through a movie then stockpile toys beside you on the floor, stretch out, put your head on a pillow and rest while you pass one at a time to baby. (This will probably only buy you half an hour.)

• If your kids are old enough and still healthy themselves try to arrange a play date at a friend's house and then sleep while they are gone.

• Pile toys on the floor in the bathroom and play with them - from the tub. (Don't do this if you are a nanny, it's not appropriate).

• If you have the energy to leave the house go to the toy store and pick out something new that will entertain them while you lounge on the sofa with a facecloth on your forehead. Alternatively - download a new iPad/iPhone app for them.

• Encourage older children (2.5+) to help their sick "patient". Let them fetch you water (clean up the spills tomorrow), put the thermometer under your tongue, and give you pretend medicine. If they have a toy doctor kit or just some kitchen utensils now is a good time to play hospital. You can just lay on the floor while they cover you with Band-Aids and look in your ears with the turkey baster. 

• Just about anything that is a novelty for them will hold their attention longer while you try to make the pounding in your head stop. Let them blow bubbles in the house. Mix up some water and cornstarch goop. Paint a picture for Daddy. Let them nap in a tent in the living room if it shuts them up for an hour. Nap with them in the tent if it shuts them up for an hour and a half. 

Of course most of these tips only work with toddlers and children, not babies. All you can really do with a baby is lay on the floor and try to relax while they play with blocks or crawl all over you...or pass the baby off onto someone else.

Babe and I are all better now and I'm hoping the Vancouver weather gets better too so that we can finally relax and enjoy the summer.

I love being healthy again!

Will We Lose Our "Baby Boxes"?

Photo courtesy of Wired.com

So I have been really short of time lately and it's been impossible to get a post done. Now I'm backed up and I have a bunch of things that I want to write about.

Tonight I was going to post some photos highlighting Babe's and my recent trip to Washington D.C.

But when I logged onto the Internet I found this article instead. It pissed me off so much that I think I'll just share this and save the pics for another time.

Here is the link to the article about the controversy of "baby boxes".

I always thought that these were a creative solution to a really sad problem. It never occurred to me that anyone, least of all the United Nations, could find fault in them. But then why does it surprise me, people can always find something to get up in arms about.

Vancouver got its first and only baby box at St. Paul's Hospital after a number of babies were left for dead or their bodies disposed of presumably by mothers who were desperate to not have a baby.

The Angel's Cradle at St. Paul's allows a mother to anonymously place her baby inside the cupboard-style bassinet and leave undetected before an alarm sounds alerting hospital staff to the delivery.

The theory is that if women know there is a safe place to leave their newborn and they can do it in secret less babies will be left for dead. Here is an old article about the baby box in Vancouver.

As far as I know Vancouver's baby box has been used only once.

The article states that, "the UN Committee says the anonymous nature of the boxes deprive each baby from knowing their parents; a right all children have under a UN convention."

While children most certainly deserve that basic right they more importantly deserve the right to not be left in a dumpster. And while most children do know where they come from and who their parents are certainly many don't.

What about children who were adopted? Not all adoptions are open and not all adopted children can grow up and track down their birth parents. What about the children whose mothers or fathers won't tell them about their other parent. What about the privacy afforded to sperm donors? Certainly it's better to be left somewhere warm and safe, be assessed by medical staff and then be adopted by loving parents than killed by a confused and terrified mother.

While I highly doubt that baby boxes do much to decrease abortion rates or infant abuse as some may claim they do, I do think that every city should have one. Sadly it's true that they won't stop abandonment of babies, but as the old saying goes, "if it saves just one..."

The article also states that the UN Committee is concerned that babies left by fathers may have been abandoned without the consent of the mothers. Well the opposite is surely true as well.

But we aren't talking about most babies, or most parents. We are talking about a very, very few number of babies that would otherwise be killed or left for dead. Surely most mothers or fathers whose babies were taken by their partner could track their baby down through the hospital it was left at. And while it is tragic that a few babies will be abandoned by angry fathers or pimps to the heartbreak of their mothers these are babies that would probably have been killed at birth by the same men if the baby boxes weren't so accessible.

To me it's just ridiculous to put the right of the child to know its parents over the safety of the child.

And as a side note: The baby who was left in Vancouver's baby box was left with a family history and birth information. Much more than a baby left on a doorstep or in a dumpster usually gets. Maybe the baby boxes not only provide a desperate parent a safe alternative to murder but also allows them some time to think through the decision to abandon their baby and take extra care in doing so.

I'd be really disappointed if Vancouver lost its baby box.

Here are a couple more articles on this issue:

The Guardian

CBC


And in unrelated news.
Here is my opinion on this story - GOOD! I hope my daughter gets better teachers than this loser.