Saying Goodbye to 139.

OK everyone:

Big changes. For the time being this blog is no longer going to be about a single mom in Vancouver. That's right. There's still plenty of single moms in Vancouver but I'm not one of them.

After a long, brutal job search I finally settled on a position as the new radio news reporter for a station called The Peak in Smithers B.C.

We had less than two weeks to find a new place and new daycare, pack and move. And I'll tell you right now, we just barely pulled it off. Starting a whole new adventure is one thing when you're 22 and single, it's another thing entirely when you have a toddler. 

The final week was go, go, go, from morning until night (not like it isn't always with a baby). A lot of packing and last-minute errands punctuated by tearful goodbyes.

It was actually a lot sadder than I thought it would be to leave our apartment. It was after all the place where I went into labour, where we brought Babe home from the hospital. Her first bedroom, all her firsts pretty much were there. I was really sad to dismantle her room. 

On the last day after the guys had taken apart Babe's crib I found a little surprise on the wall. Obviously some dirty little toes had found their way through the bars and left a printbehind. I left it there. I couldn't bare to wipe it off. Let the next tenants do it.

These are pics from the very last time we left the apartment. I'm not usually so sentimental but the two years we lived there were filled with so many milestones. The pregnancy. Bringing Babe home from the hospital. J moving out and Babe and I starting a life on our own. It was my kitty Sprout's final home (and that cat moved with me A LOT). Babe crawled home in that hallway. She walked home in that hallway. She learned how to point out the 1-3-9 on our door. It was sad to think we can never go back there.  

But we are here in Smithers now. It's been over a week and we are settling in. My parents came up with us and stayed for a few days. And since they left it's been just the two of us, figuring out a new life. This last couple weeks have been really hard, I'm not gonna lie. But I can't wait to share this next adventure with you all. Stay tuned as a West Coast mommy turns into a Northern one. Is this north? It feels north?

Babe looking a little shellshocked. It's been a lot of change for her.

I'm Flying Mommy! Part 1.

Recently Babe and I went on a trip to Washington D.C. to visit a long time friend and her baby who was born shortly after mine.

While I was fully confident in my ability to travel alone with her (J. stayed home) I admit I was a little apprehensive about the flights.

Mostly I was worried about Babe's behaviour. She is a notorious loud-mouth. As I've mentioned before she's been quite the little screamer since day one. And in the weeks leading up to the trip she developed a nasty habit of shrieking just for the hell of it. It doesn't seem to matter what I do to try to curb the behaviour, sometimes she is determined to scream.

And of course she hates the car.

So as much as I was looking forward to the trip I was dreading the flight there. I really didn't want to be the lady with the screaming kid that everyone hates.

I might as well admit now that I am also afraid of flying, so that too was weighing on my mind.

I have experience with kids and flights. Back when I nannied I used to get the kids ready for flights with their families and I also flew with my charges. So I have a few ways of controlling the mayhem on the flight, but of course most of my tricks wouldn't work with a baby.

None of my ideas are rocket science but in case you're yet to hit the tarmac with your own brood here are some things to try when planning your flight.


Clothes:

• Dress your kid(s) comfortably. Some families like their children to look cute or even dressy for a flight. Don't make your daughter wear a frilly dress on the plane, no matter how adorable it is. Do you like flying in business attire or ball gowns? Probably not. Make sure you have a clean cozy outfit ready for them. Sweats are a good bet or even a nice pair of jammies. The more comfortable your kid is the less they will squirm in their seat.

• Don't bother "doing" your daughter's hair. The style won't stay in, the hair accessories will fall under the seat and it'll be a constant fight to keep redoing it in cramped quarters. If you really want her to have a cute doo when she meets Grandma at the airport, bring the stuff you need in your carryon and do her hair just before you land.

• Layer. You might be leaving a cold climate and arriving in a warm one or vise versa. Or the airport might be air conditioned and the plane stifling. In any event, make sure the kids have a short sleeve under a long sleeve and if you're heading somewhere warm, a pair of shorts tucked in your carryon. If you have a baby, a messy toddler, sweaty kids or toilet training issues do not forget to pack an extra outfit. 

• If you are changing diapers make sure the outfit you pick is super easy access. The changing table in the airplane bathroom is the size of a cutting board and the bathroom itself is the size of a broom closet. A million snaps just won't do.

Toys:

• Bring toys that provide the most bang for their buck. Toys should not be too big. The smaller they are = the easier to pack = the more you can bring = the more fun they will have. 

• Noisy toys will definitely annoy other passengers. If your child absolutely loves a particular noisy toy weigh their enjoyment against the inevitable stink-eye from other passengers and decide if you want to bring it. DON'T bring it and then decide it will be too embarrassing and refuse to let them play with it. That's unfair and a guaranteed tantrum, plus you will still get the stink-eye because people will think you're an idiot. Any toys you want on the trip but not on the plane should be stowed out of sight out of mind. 

• Secretly pack a "last resort" toy that you know will stave off a meltdown and whip it out when all else fails. This will only work once so choose the time wisely (not 15 minutes into a six-hour flight).

• If you're willing, buy a few new toys, books, games or crafts to bring out as a fun surprise mid-flight.

• If you allow hand held game devices make sure it is on low volume or mute while in flight. If your kid is used to playing with the sound up, practice playing on mute for a few days before the trip. Bring extra batteries/charger. Like I said above, if you are willing to spend the money, bringing along a new game as a surprise will likely buy you a TON more quiet time if you get it out just as the old game is getting boring. Same goes for movies to play on the iPad or laptop. If you have a reader for sure pick up some new books.

• If you have a safe adult item (like keys) that your little one loves to get out of your purse...make sure it is in your purse.

• Play games like Eye Spy etc. in the airport while you are waiting for your flight so that you don't use up all the novelty of the airplane entertainment before you even board.

Packing:

• Pack what the kids will need in the carryon you plan to store at your feet. You are likely to only need access to your own stuff a few times during the flight. But a kid is going to need something every five minutes. All snacks, toys, tissues, wipes etc. should be in arms reach, not stowed in the overhead. 

• If you have a baby riding on your lap you'll want his stuff and yours in arms reach.

• Older toddlers and kids can carry their own bag. Make them. Little kids will usually be thrilled if they have their very own child-sized wheely suitcase. Allow your child to help pack their bag. Pack them light. Don't weigh down your four-year-old's Disney Princess suitcase with all the camera equipment and travel guides. No matter how sparkly it is she will abandon it halfway to security if it weighs a ton. 

• Make sure you have your kid's essential items in your carryon in case the airline loses your checked bags. As if you weren't carrying enough. Arriving without your bags is a huge drag but it will be easier on you if the kids have the things they need for 24 hours or so. Definitely have any medications they need with you in the carryon (or I always split mine up in case I lose the carryon) because if your luggage doesn't show you don't want to be running around a strange city trying to get a new prescription for Baby.

Seating:

• I've been told some flights have a bassinet seat. This is apparently a seat with extra leg room and a bassinet that you can place on the floor so when Baby nods off you can put them down. My flight did not have this option :( I read that you should ask ahead of time and even then there are no guarantees of getting it.

• You can chose your seats and you should. Either at the time of booking, a few days ahead of time or at check in, whichever. You may be in luck, if the flight is relatively empty you might be able to switch your seats to a row that is empty. Then you or the kids get to lay down during the flight. This luxury is becoming less and less common because flights are now often booked over capacity. But it's worth asking. Chose your seats wisely. I love the window, but with a baby on my lap the aisle made way more sense. Don't ever get stuck in the middle.

Safety:

• Sick kids suck. Sick kids on vacation suck more. If you're so inclined there are special preventative supplements you can take which claim to boost your immune system and stave off bugs. One is called Airborne. I've never tried them, don't know if they work or are safe to use. 

• And here is a whole web page that provides tips on avoiding germs on planes.

• Bring gum for older kids to chew when taking off and landing and a pacifier, teething ring or bottle for Baby.

• Babies under two can usually ride for free on your lap. This is a great way to save money. But there is some controversy over the safety of this. Opponents claim that babies can be injured in the event of turbulence or a rough landing (or...eeek...a crash) if they aren't secured in their own seat. There are safety restraints that you attach to yourself and Baby and special seats but check with your airline before hand to see which brand if any it allows. I also read that there may not be enough oxygen masks if there are two bodies to one seat. I freaked when I heard that but I don't know if it is true.

• Don't take your eyes off your kids in busy airports and don't have their name visible on their bags or clothes.

• Tell older kids what to do if they get separated from you.

Planning:

• Avoid layovers and transfers if at all possible. Direct flights are best. It's like ripping off a Band-Aid - just do it fast and get it over with.

• Bring food your kid likes. No one likes airplane food so your kid probably won't either. And there is never enough of it.

• Have all necessary documents on hand. This includes a letter of permission from your partner/spouse if you are taking your child out of the country without them.

• Missing your flight or showing up for a flight that was delayed or canceled sucks when you are single but it is going to be a HUGE pain in the ass when you are dragging a kid and all their gear along with you. TRUST ME! Call ahead to check on the status of the flight and double check your ticket (more on this in part two). 

• You practically have to get naked at security now. Be prepared, especially if you will be carrying your child. Wear shoes that easily slip on and off (because they have to come off). In fact...just do yourself a favour and wear tear-away pants a mesh shirt and no bra. Have all items that need to come out of the bag or need to be turned on in an easy-to-reach place. Don't wear metal jewelry, it will be hard to remove it all while holding your baby.

As it turned out Babe did really well on the flights and I was worried for nothing. But more on that in part two!

Babe on one of the cool rocking chairs at the Baltimore airport.

The First Trip: part one.

So I decided to be brave and take Babe on her first trip to Hornby Island. My cousin and her son were heading up and said that I could bunk with them in their cabin, which is much, much nicer than the one I usually stay in (used to stay in pre-baby). With Babe never wanting me to put her down it simply would have been too difficult for me to venture up to Hornby in this cold weather by myself with her. I couldn't imagine trying to keep the fires going, water boiling etc. without any help so it was a great opportunity to go.

This isn't even all of the crap I packed for Babe for five days. Not included in this shot is her co-sleeper bassinet, her just-hanging-out-in-it-bassinet, her stroller and car seat, her baby monitor and other stuff. Turns out I didn't need half the clothes that I brought. Surprise! Surprise!

After I loaded up the truck we headed out...into the snow?! Mid-March and it was snowing. I had a reservation on the 10:30am ferry so we arrived at the terminal just after 9:30. When the time came to board the ferry I ignored the announcement on the loud speaker assuming that it was the standard pre-loading instructions. But after people started turning off their cars and leaving the lot or pulling a u-turn and driving out of the line altogether, I decided to roll down my window and listen up. Turns out the ferry was cancelled due to high winds. F**K! In all my years of travelling on ferries (and I have taken A LOT of ferries) I have never missed one because it was cancelled. But of course the first time I attempt to travel with Babe we get stranded. We were told the 3:00pm sailing might go and we decided to wait. So I spent the next four and a half hours sitting in a nearby coffee shop with my cousins and aunt taking turns trying to keep the baby happy.

I don't know if the wind actually did die down a little or if B.C. Ferries just realized they hadn't needed to cancel the sailings in the first place (because they were still running from Tsawwassen) but the 3:00pm did run!

But now it was looking doubtful we would make it onto Hornby Island because the ferry stops running at 6:00pm. In order to make the last boat onto Hornby I would have to haul ass on the hour long drive up Vancouver Island. With shitty weather and my precious cargo on board it was an added stress I didn't need.

Anyway, here are a few photos of Babe's first ferry ride (a big deal to me considering how many she and I will be taking in the future).

I wanted to buy Babe something from the gift shop on the boat to remember the first ferry by but they don't sell a ton of baby gear on board. I finally settled on this cute nautical-themed box with a compass inside. Definitely not baby-friendly but a fun little memento.

I liked the quote on the trim which reads:

"We knew the merry world was round and we might sail forever."

Moving Day.

Our cat all packed and ready to go.

So we finally moved! I'm still unpacking at the new place. I was lucky to get this whole week off because the boys I nanny are away visiting their grandparents. Being able to dedicate all my time this week to packing, cleaning and moving was great.

Packing was the worst part. I usually don't mind it. Since I move on average once a year I'm used to packing and the organizer in me actually enjoys placing things in their appropriate boxes. But this time sucked. I'm too big to be bending over every few seconds. Having to squat instead of just bend was physically draining, as was the heat!

I love summer, I love the heat and I love all the activities that come with summer. But since I can't float on my air mattress with a beer in my hand this summer has been a write-off for me. And the apartment was stifling on the days I had to pack which exhausted me further.

By the day before the move I was starting to feel pretty bad and I was afraid I may have pushed myself too far and might start labour early. Luckily my mom came to the rescue and not only helped on moving day but also took the next day off to help me clean the old apartment and shop for the new place.

Everyone warned us that we should move earlier in the pregnancy but that wasn't an option for us. We had neither the money nor the time to move earlier. So if you are moving into a new nest just before the baby is due I have a little advice:

Hire movers. J and I couldn't afford a real moving crew but we did shell out $160 for a rental truck to get everything in one load. And I was lucky that my father donated some of his workers for the day. Even if you're on a tight budget try to stash a little money every month before the move to get yourself some extra help. Even if the savings are only enough to bribe friends.

Don't carry boxes. Make the decision that an extra person is needed to replace the pregnant lady. Let the others struggle with the heavy things and focus your efforts on carrying light things, packing last minute pieces and cleaning up as the rooms empty. Drink lots of water and stop to put your feet up as often as you need. This is not the time to prove you can carry as much as the boys.

Plan ahead. Have a layout of the new place in mind and have at least a general idea of where the big pieces of furniture are going to go. That way you won't realize a dresser should be in the other bedroom after your movers have departed. Obviously packing boxes for their designated room is a good idea too. If you toss random things into boxes at the old place you'll regret it at the new place when every item you unpack requires a walk to the other side of the house.

Have an unpack friend. I love unpacking, deciding where everything should go and putting it all away. Usually I prefer to do this all by myself, but it's not as easy when you're preggers. Even if you have the energy to unpack all day, you might not be able to reach high shelves, low shelves or shuffle boxes and furniture around. You can still decide where everything should go but unpacking will be less exhausting (and safer) if you let a friend put away the heavy bits.

Pack snacks. Have a little box just for moving day that has drinks and snacks in it. It's easy to forget to eat when you're rushing to get everything done. But you will keep your energy up and will last longer if you stop to eat and drink as needed. Whenever I move I plan a lunch hour for myself and the movers into the day. Everyone likes knowing that there is enough time between emptying the old place and filling the new place to stop for lunch. Having food on hand will not only please you and the baby, it'll take a little of the load off the people who are doing the lifting.

Finally, Choose a happy nest. Unless you're rolling in dough you'll never get everything you want in a place so make sure you choose the very best option for your needs. This is a given on any move but having a home you love (or at least really like) will be even more important when you're stuck indoors with a screaming infant. Decide ahead of time what features will make your quality of life better. This may be the time to realize that having a washer and dryer is better than having an ornate spiral staircase. Or maybe having a great view will keep you more sane than having a Starbucks next door will. Everyone is different. Think about what will ease your burdens the most. You will likely be spending more time at home than ever before. I knew what I wanted to make the next year or so as easy on us as possible and I only looked at places that had what we wanted.