Update.

Just a quick post to talk about changes that have been happening in the last few months.

Update 1:

If you read my last post on baby kicks you know that although it is all very magical I was finding it a little exhausting and honestly...annoying. It still is. As Baby got stronger so did her movements. They changed from what felt like little twitches to stronger rolls and punches, which I think are actually less annoying. I much prefer the strong sometimes painful movements to the ones that are just strong enough to feel like a little spasm under the skin. So I was/have been pretty happy with that change. However what hasn't changed is the worrying about the movements. In this way I am most definitely a first time mom. I've called the midwife at all hours. When Baby moves too much, when Baby doesn't move enough etc. If there was a kiosk in the mall that installed a window in your uterus I would pay twice what I just paid for my IPhone skin.

Update 2:

I now have an IPhone. I don't understand it yet and much like when I switched from a PC to a Mac, the phone and I are NOT bonded yet. It took two months for me to bond with my Mac Book. I don't respond well to electronic change. Most people get a new toy and rush home to spend the night playing with it. I sat on the floor and cried and glared at it from across the room. I behaved the same way with the laptop.

But this has nothing to do with being pregnant except that of course I had trouble changing from my old phone to the new one which left me phoneless for over an hour. This was just enough time to totally convince myself that I would go into labour and be unable to reach my midwife.

Update 3:

Despite having decorated and shopped almost exclusively for girl things since finding out 13 weeks ago that Baby is a girl, I am still paranoid that she will sprout a weenie before her birth and I'll have to rush to return everything. I am looking forward to an upcoming ultrasound (to check on my fibroid) in the hopes that I can convince the tech to take one last peek at the goods.

Update 4:

Symptoms. I've had them all but I still consider myself lucky. I think I've had it relatively easy so far. Every symptom has been manageable and has only lasted a short time. Although recently I have developed carpel tunnel (which is apparently common in pregnancy) and also edema in my hands and feet. This is by far the worst symptom because although it really isn't a big deal it is robbing me of what little sleep I am getting.

Oh sleep! I don't get that anymore. And as the weeks progress so does my need for pillow support at night. I'm now half-way to a sitting position and should be sleeping fully upright by the end of September. My wonderful Snoogle pregnancy pillow is pretty flat now and while I still do use it every night it just isn't enough anymore.

Update 5:

I have loved setting up the nursery and washing, folding and putting away all the baby stuff. It is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. I will share some pics of the nursery soon and of some favorite items I have acquired. I could spend the rest of my life decorating nurseries.

Update 6:

So basically I'm still doing good. The last few weeks have been pretty uncomfortable and I have bad days now where I'm just too exhausted to fake it. I'm still working and will be for another couple weeks. Baby is head down and in position for blast-off or whatever it is that's going to happen to my down-theres. She is still moving like mad but already seems to be lulled by the rocking chair and J's hands on my belly (only his). The midwife predicts she will be long just like her Daddy and today she is hovering around 6 pounds - with 4.5 weeks to go!

So that's it for now.

It's a Girl! Probably.

I of course couldn't wait until October to be surprised.

My impatience may be surprising to some because I have no gift anticipation at Christmas or my birthday.

But babies are different. It is my child, who will be forever in my life, not a puppy under the Christmas tree and I want to know everything about my baby as soon as the information is available.

So two weeks after my ultrasound with Jaded Tech #2 I followed the advice of my boyfriend's boss, who is also expecting, and headed off to AIM Medical Imaging in my city (Vancouver) to try again.

This time the tech was perfect. She was kind and laid back. She spent half an hour with us, about twenty minutes of which was spent on the hunt for the family jewels. She was excited for us (or at least faked it) and I left with a bunch of cute photos. I guess when you're paying (tests not ordered by your medical caretaker are not covered in Canada) you are treated more like a client and less like a cliche.

Finally the tech was able to say that she was 95 per cent sure that my little he/she is a SHE! I couldn't be happier. There are no guarantees but she assured me that if a boy pops out and I have all the wrong clothes I can send her the bill. Any chance she is serious?

For $50 I am 95 per cent sure my baby is a girl. Money well spent.

The Jaded Tech.

I have definitely had my fair share of ultrasounds during this pregnancy. So I now consider myself an expert on the process. Out of that five, two of my ultrasounds have been a huge disappointment.

I get that the purpose of an ultrasound is diagnostic and that it is not conducted for my entertainment, to calm my fears or to fill my baby book with in utero photos. But having said that, it is something that expectant parents look forward to and worry over throughout pregnancy. And every time an ultrasound is scheduled it is both exciting to see the baby and nerve-racking to hear the results.

I have had the misfortune of two jaded techs so far in this pregnancy and both times I left feeling angry and disappointed.

I understand that for them the job is boring and tedious and they are probably as eager for a coffee break as any other working stiff is. But quite frankly…I don’t give a shit what they feel. When I have to wait months for a ten-minute window into my womb to see my baby and confirm that he or she is not in peril I expect a little bedside manor. And if the tech can’t muster up some excitement then I expect that they will at least recognize that this is a big moment for the patient and fake some concern or enthusiasm.

The first horrible tech I had was when I was only seven weeks pregnant. I had been the week before for the initial ultrasound that my doctor had scheduled to date the fetus, but no heartbeat could be found. Which while completely normal for six weeks was a disaster for someone as obsessive and anxious as I am. So they had me come back the next week to try again.

Obviously I was very nervous and it showed. However I got neither a reassuring smile nor eye contact from the tech as I lay on the table waiting for her to tell me if the little spark inside me had gone out. I spent most of the time cracking little jokes to try to boost her spirits while I was falling apart with worry.

When she finally located a strong heartbeat and I began to cry with relief she sternly told me to “lay still”.

At this particular office the techs perform the diagnostic portion of the ultrasound without family or friends present and then after they allow the woman’s husband, mother, friend etc. into the room to see the baby and rejoice with or comfort the mother. This is the policy. I knew this from the previous visit, the signs posted in the lobby and the phone call I made earlier in the week to confirm that I could bring my girlfriend with me for support.

However this tech who was not just bored with the procedure but was maliciously trying to be as cold and callous as she could safely get away with refused without reason to allow my friend to come in. It didn’t matter that I had driven across town to pick up my friend. Or that the policy of the clinic was to allow me my support network.

And to top it off she allotted me one 2-second glance at my little bean with the blinking heart and denied me any further time with my baby.

I tried to calm my anger afterwards by telling myself that I was blessed that the baby was ok and that nothing else about the experience mattered. Which is true. In an attempt to excuse her behaviour I reasoned that maybe she had lost her own baby and couldn’t muster any joy for her patients. But I couldn’t reason the anger away.

With memories of the ultrasound tech from hell still haunting me the next day I decided it wasn’t fair to subject other nervous patients to the same treatment and I called her supervisor and complained. The tech I had the next time was an absolute doll.

My second jaded tech wasn’t the vengeful bitch that the first was. She was of the “move along, nothing to see here” or “ho hum” variety. This was the big ultrasound. I was excited to find out the sex and nervous about the scan’s ability to catch abnormalities. But once again I left disappointed.

This tech was briskly working her way through the morning patients with her eye on her lunch break. She muttered under her breath what every part was and how things were looking like she was whispering into a wiretap in her scrubs instead of talking to us. She made a half-assed attempt to discover the sex and another half-assed attempt to get a good photo for us.

Towards the end of the appointment she softened a little when the baby was being extra cute but for the most part she couldn’t have cared less and an appointment that was scheduled to take 45 minutes was over in under 15.

After the first bad experience I promised myself that I wouldn’t stand for it again. That next time I would politely vocalize my expectations (provided they were reasonable) instead of feel disappointed later. But the next ultrasound came and went with me biting my tongue. As outspoken as I am I find it hard to stand up for myself in this gooey situation. Lying there waiting for a stranger to tell me the fate of my baby and thus my future is enough to worry about.

I just wish the techs could remember how special this moment is for us, even though its nothing special for them.