Saying Goodbye to 139.

OK everyone:

Big changes. For the time being this blog is no longer going to be about a single mom in Vancouver. That's right. There's still plenty of single moms in Vancouver but I'm not one of them.

After a long, brutal job search I finally settled on a position as the new radio news reporter for a station called The Peak in Smithers B.C.

We had less than two weeks to find a new place and new daycare, pack and move. And I'll tell you right now, we just barely pulled it off. Starting a whole new adventure is one thing when you're 22 and single, it's another thing entirely when you have a toddler. 

The final week was go, go, go, from morning until night (not like it isn't always with a baby). A lot of packing and last-minute errands punctuated by tearful goodbyes.

It was actually a lot sadder than I thought it would be to leave our apartment. It was after all the place where I went into labour, where we brought Babe home from the hospital. Her first bedroom, all her firsts pretty much were there. I was really sad to dismantle her room. 

On the last day after the guys had taken apart Babe's crib I found a little surprise on the wall. Obviously some dirty little toes had found their way through the bars and left a printbehind. I left it there. I couldn't bare to wipe it off. Let the next tenants do it.

These are pics from the very last time we left the apartment. I'm not usually so sentimental but the two years we lived there were filled with so many milestones. The pregnancy. Bringing Babe home from the hospital. J moving out and Babe and I starting a life on our own. It was my kitty Sprout's final home (and that cat moved with me A LOT). Babe crawled home in that hallway. She walked home in that hallway. She learned how to point out the 1-3-9 on our door. It was sad to think we can never go back there.  

But we are here in Smithers now. It's been over a week and we are settling in. My parents came up with us and stayed for a few days. And since they left it's been just the two of us, figuring out a new life. This last couple weeks have been really hard, I'm not gonna lie. But I can't wait to share this next adventure with you all. Stay tuned as a West Coast mommy turns into a Northern one. Is this north? It feels north?

Babe looking a little shellshocked. It's been a lot of change for her.

When Will My Baby Stop Crying? The little rays of light that might bring peace to your infant.

Right from the get-go Babe was a pretty fussy little princess. In fairness, for the first three or four months she had terrible tummy troubles, so she was fussy for good reason. She spent almost every waking minute (which was 90 per cent of the damn time) being coddled in someone's arms because her little body was just writhing with gas pain. So by the time the tummy troubles subsided she was so used to being cuddled and catered to that she was furious any time she was "abandoned" for even a couple minutes.

For whatever reason she was and kinda still is a really fussy baby. She hated the car and screamed throughout the ride. She wouldn't sleep for longer than an hour at a time and woke up anytime she was put down in her bed. As she got bigger she grew more and more frustrated by her own limitations and so she screamed when she wasn't happy, at any time, for any reason. Sometimes she would simply stop what happy little thing she was doing and scream for no reason at all other than to remind me that, although temporarily sated, overall she was still miserable.

According to various statistics approximately 20 to 25 per cent of babies have colic - which is just a fancy word for, "We don't know what the hell is wrong with this miserable child". Babe was definitely colicky. For sure. And when doctors said that it usually resolves itself in the first four months or so I thought I was going to die. Four months seemed like a long time. But the days turned to weeks and before long Babe's colic had passed. Of course it was replaced by her general bad attitude so I never really noticed that I'd made it past the colic finish line.

Now Babe is almost 16 months old and often still cranky but looking back there were some points along the way where her temperament improved; milestones that helped ease some of her misery and made both our lives a little better. I thought I'd share them here so that this post can stand as a beacon of hope for any new mothers that are wondering, "When is this baby going to stop crying?"

I shall call these milestones or changes "rays of light" because that's exactly what they are and you'll only understand the term when you're buried in the dark cloud of exhaustion that a fussy newborn can bring. And don't be surprised if you don't notice the improvement until later, because for me anyway the improvements were subtle.

The first two rays of light happened around the same time, I can't remember now which came first.

Babe just didn't know how to settle herself at bedtime. She was fussy and fidgety and needed constant cuddling and shushing etc. to get her to sleep. And then she never slept for long. But I knew early on that part of the problem was that she was uncomfortable sleeping on her back - which is the recommended way for babies to sleep. And sure enough, as soon as she learned to roll over I couldn't keep her on her back anymore. I was still paranoid about SIDS and for a while I would spend my nights reaching down and rolling her back over. But I gave up after the health nurse said that if she was strong enough to roll from front to back and vise versa she was strong enough to sleep on her tummy without suffocating. And it did make a difference. Babe started sleeping for longer periods - not much longer - but any little bit was a blessing. And the more sleep she got the happier she was during the day.

Babe still sleeps mostly on her tummy.

Also around the same time Babe started solids. Always a big milestone for babies it definitely calmed Babe a bit. For the first while eating carries provides a lot of entertainment value for babies. Everything is new and exciting and meal times help break up the day into manageable chunks. I don't know if Babe was just really hungry when only supplied with breast milk or if the solids helped settle her tummy a bit but whatever the reason, when she started eating she did become a little less fussy.

The next ray of light shone when Babe became mobile. When she could crawl around and explore and wasn't just stranded on a mat on the floor every time I left the room she became much happier. Again everything was exciting, she had more independence and it seemed to calm her.

Then when she started walking she took off and left her bad attitude in the dust. Of course, she went back and found it later. But walking has made a huge difference in her general disposition. She's free, she's fast, she's a big girl and it makes her really happy. Plus she uses a lot more energy during the day which translates to better sleeps at night which translates to a happier baby during the day. If you have a baby that seems bummed out maybe he just hates sitting still. Look forward to crawling and walking, it might bring out the best in your little one.

As far as the car goes Babe still hates it. But being able to use a forward-facing car seat did help a bit. Babe can see out now and I can see her and interact with her more while we are driving. She can see me in the mirror, we can point things out to each other and I can pass her snacks or toys if needed. Babe is probably never going to be pro-road trip but at least she's not as anti-car as she was before. Of course now the recommendations for car seats have changed in Canada and they say a baby should stay rear-facing until they are two. But trying to drive while Babe shrieks in the back isn't safe either so I'm gonna stick with our forward-facing seat. Whether you choose to put your little one in a forward-facing seat after age one or not until they are two just know that you may get some relief from your cranky passenger once they are looking forward.

Sculpture at the Flora and Fauna exhibition at The Bloedel Conservatory.

I hope that my personal rays of light have given you some hope that things will improve. I know it seems like nothing works with your cranky baby but I bet in a couple years you'll look back and realize that there were some key changes that gradually helped lighten their little spirits.

Good Luck.

Baby/Toddler App Reviews.

I'm still on the fence about letting Babe play with my phone. Some people say it's better to start them learning about technology early since they will inevitably need to use it. While others think that children need to first develop their creative thinking and imaginations without relying on gadgets. Then there's the health concerns, some founded, some not so much. But since I haven't decided NO yet and because I need a break here and there I decided to download some fun apps to keep Babe busy. Here are some of our favorites. Enjoy...or don't if you're on the no side of the fence.

photo: HappiTaps

HappiTaps by Infantino

Christmas came just a few days before Babe and I left for New Zealand and as a present for Babe (or maybe more for me) my brother gave her a HappiTaps bear for the plane trip. I don't know if this is technically an app since I'm still somewhat new to apps in general. The website calls it a virtual teddy bear. But for the sake of this post, it's an app. An awesome app.

You purchase the stuffed animal iPhone cover and then download the free app. Somehow I screwed up and we ended up with a bear face (app) and a dog body (phone cover) but whatever, Babe doesn't know. And actually, she doesn't like the stuffed cover so she plays with it just as a regular iPhone app.  I guess you could just download the app and not buy the bear and save your money but Babe is probably in the minority by hating the bear - your kid will probably like it better with the cover.

Positives:

• Hold's Babe's interest longer than any other app on my phone.
• Great for plane rides, car trips and restaurants.
• Cute. Really cute.
• A lot of game variety for a baby app. 
• Easy to learn, easy for Babe to maneuver and somewhat educational (ABC's, colours, counting).
• Babe is much more iPhone-savvy since using this app - although I'm not sure if that's a positive.

Negatives:

• The app is free but games are limited. To expand the options costs and, as apps go, it really costs. Ninety-nine cents for two little songs. Another .99 for one extra bubble-popping game. 

Price: Almost $20.00 online or at Toys R Us.

Baby Flash Cards by Xian Chen

If you want flash cards for your baby/toddler there are a ton to choose from. I downloaded a few to try over six months ago and Babe still enjoys playing with them. The one I ultimately ended up using was Baby Flash Cards - Encyclopedia 300+. There's a free version as well which we tried first.

Positives:

• Lots of cards to choose from. Animals, Colours, Food, Instruments...
• Pictures on the cards are photographs and not illustrations which I prefer.
• Animals, vehicles and instruments play sounds.

Negatives:

• The app comes from Chinese developer Xian Chen and the translations could be better. Most of it is fine but there are a few mistakes and inconsistancies and they bug me. Sometimes the words are singular, sometimes they are plural. I realize this doesn't sound like a big deal but when you are using the flash cards as one of your tools for teaching early language you want the language to be correct. They use the word cock for rooster, which I realize is the right word but no one in Canada calls a rooster a cock and I don't want Babe to start either. The worst mistake is the seahorse card which doesn't read "seahorse" but "hippocampus" (the part of the brain in charge of memory - ironically).
• The sounds are great but inconsistant. Some are fine and others far too short. Especially on the instrument cards.
• There are number cards but no letter cards which I really wanted.
• When you get to the end of swiping through the cards you have to change directions and go back, the cards aren't on a loop. This isn't a big deal but in the early days when Babe was just figuring out how to swipe her finger across the screen it frustrated her when she got to the end and suddenly her swiping movements weren't working. 

Price: Free or upgrade for $1.99

Peek-A-Boo, I See You by BabyFirstTV

A simple peek-a-boo game for babies. The little alien (I think) hides behind three Earthy items and Babe has to figure out which one. Pretty simple once Babe figured out that the little guy waves from behind his hiding spot. But she's been playing it for months now so I guess it's a hit.

Positives:

• Easy to learn. Only requires tapping.

Negatives:

• Has annoying music which we turn off.
• Could get boring really fast.

Price: $0.99

Piano infinity: Jam by Better Day Wireless.

The damn title has an infinity symbol in it and Blogger won't let me insert it, so pretend the infinity word is a stupid little horizontal figure eight then put a colon beside it. Geez.

Anyway. It's actually for adults I think, or probably at least not toddlers but whatever works. You can play a game kinda similar to Guitar Hero, record your own music or learn to play songs using a couple different methods. But for Babe I just put on the piano and let her pound on it. She likes it.

Positives:

• Fun for me too.
• She's learning about music...right?

Negatives:

• Just the obvious logistical problems with putting a keyboard on an iPhone. 

Price: $2.99

DooDoo Pad by Bejoy Mobile

It's not an app about poo, sorry. It's just a drawing app for kids. I wanted one for Babe and this one seemed cool. So far she hasn't played with it much but I like it.

Positives:

• Dark papers and cool neon pens.
• Actually, a variety of pens, all of them cool.

Negatives:

• The ads at the top of the screen. Typical of a free app, but still annoying. 
• No other complaints yet. It's just a simple drawing app. I'm sure if you're some pro artist you'd find some flaws but then why are you using a kids drawing app? Probably because you think neon pens are cool too.

Price: Free

BubbleFREE by Orsome Entertainment

I was curious to see if Babe would enjoy popping bubble wrap as much as I do. And the app version makes it less likely that she will smother herself in a sheet of plastic. So far my research indicates that toddlers like popping bubble wrap too. Who knew?

Perfect for all ages. Although you may tire of the game pretty quickly I bet you will keep coming back to it. Bubble wrap apps are classic.

Positives:

• You get to pop bubble wrap - well, virtually anyway.
• You can pop bubble wrap anywhere.
• No ads.

Negatives:

• Not as satisfying as popping real bubble wrap.
• It's a timed game so it will quit on Babe just when she is getting into it. But whatever. Then it's my turn!

Price: Free

Windy New Zealand.

Being a winter baby, Babe isn't used to driving with the windows down. The wind was blasting her in the face and despite the hot day she was less than impressed. So instead of comforting her I thought I'd snap a series of photos. I just thought they were too funny not to share.

She's fine now. Don't worry.

The Last of the Summer.

Inside the Little Cabin.

Babe and I are back in town now. We had so much fun on Hornby. I wish we could have stayed longer but we were gone for three weeks and J really wanted to see Babe, so we came back.

I still haven't decided if being alone on vacation with Babe was easier or harder than I had imagined. Definitely not having running water was a total drag. I'm used to it but with a baby who is constantly covered in poop, food or dirt it was worse than I had remembered.

And I had planned to re-sleep train Babe while we were at the cabin...but...

Yup. Once again I have failed at sleep training and given into my little devil. Which is just the absolute worst thing you can do. But in all fairness to me she is really, REALLY stubborn. Last time by night five Babe was sleeping through the night in her crib. This time I made it to night seven and she was still screaming for hours. She's always had the same bedtime routine and she is happy as a clam until she sees that we're heading for her bed. Putting her down in the crib is like lowering a cat into a bathtub. She wraps herself around my arms, digs her nails in and starts screaming.

But now I have decided that I actually like sleeping with her and I don't need to make her spend the whole night in her own bed. I do however, need her to go to sleep in her own bed and stay there for the first few hours so that:

A: I don't have to go to bed when she does.

B: I can leave her with a sitter and have the sitter be able to put her to sleep without crawling into my bed.

So that's what we're working on now.

Babe winning the battle. In bed with Mommy early one morning.

The trip was made a lot easier by having my aunt and uncle right next door. They were able to take Babe off my hands sometimes so that I could get things done. Everything at the cabin is dirty and not baby-proofed so there was literally nowhere to put Babe down. I did have her playpen with us but she'll only stay quiet in that little padded cell for so long. So I had to get used to doing everything with Babe hanging onto my leg. Washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry - any chore I had to get done took twice as long with her attached to my body. So it was great when my aunt would hold her for twenty minutes while I showered or went to the bathroom (can't put Babe down in the outhouse either).

My aunt giving Babe a bath in a bucket. Our beautiful beach in the background.

And even as the trip wore on and I got more and more used to it being just the two of us, there was the occasional shitty moment.

One night Babe and I went to a party at a friend's house. It was way past Babe's bedtime and I was prepared for total meltdown. But Babe was an absolute doll the whole time. She crawled all over the house, chasing the children who could easily escape her grubby paws. She danced to the music and flirted with all the grown-ups. We were having a great time and I hadn't yet really noticed that almost everyone else were in pairs. Single pairs, married pairs and pairs with their babies. If I had noticed I guess I hadn't given it enough thought to bother me. But then a woman whom I hadn't seen in a long time came over to congratulate me on my baby. And as she was watching me watching Babe she casually asked, "Are you alone?" She's the sweetest lady and didn't mean anything by it but I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I don't even know why really. On another day with another person asking, the question wouldn't have fazed me. But I guess I had forgotten for a second and was unprepared for the look of concern on her face.

But these moments were few and far between and mostly we had great weather, great fun and made many great memories.

Babe loves music and was thrilled that my friends had so many instruments at their house.

Cymbal, marimba, cymbal, marimba...

She went straight for the drums every time we went over to their house.

In the lagoon. I know she isn't wearing a life jacket. Relax.
We're in two feet of water. Photo and kayak loan by Judith Coleman.

Napping in the hammock.

Again in the hammock.

Photo by Sung Van, a family friend who rents my aunt's
cabin every summer. I love this shot.

Babe with my good friend D on the beach the day before we left.

This summer I finally got to read some books too. From the time Babe was born until last month I haven't been able to finish a newspaper article never mind an entire book. After finishing Two Kisses for Maddy I read The Birth House (which has been sitting on my nightstand since Christmas).

AMAZING book! Loved, loved, loved it. It's happened to me before that I've had a book kicking around for a long time and then when I finally read it I can't believe that I just let it sit there for so long. The Birth House is one of those books. It's the first book by award winning journalist and author Ami McKay. It's about the practice of midwifery on the east coast during the first world war. The main character reluctantly takes over as the single midwife of a small fishing community outside of Halifax. Even as she helps women through the birth of their babies, protects them from their husbands and a solicitous doctor and keeps their secrets safe she is seen as a witch and treated as an outcast. "The Birth House is an unforgettable tale of the struggles women have faced to have control of their own bodies and to keep the best parts of tradition alive in the world of modern medicine," says McKay's website. I haven't enjoyed a book this much since The Help and I found myself hoping someone would make a movie out of this one too. 

On the way home I detoured a little to take Babe to see the goats on the roof at the Coombs Country Market. I think she was a little surprised to see a big animal on top of a building. We were lucky to see them. I've been many times when the goats haven't been on the roof as advertised. We shopped around the market and the surrounding stores and it was a nice break from the drive down Vancouver Island (which Babe spent the first half of screaming while I sang Old MacDonald over and over).

Goat.

Babe watching the goat.

After the market we caught a night ferry back to Tsawwassen and stayed at my parent's place before coming home the next day. I miss Hornby Island already but it's good to be home. How long we get to stay here I'm not sure. I've just started applying for jobs and most of them aren't in the Vancouver area.

Sailing home.

Alberta.

So Babe and I joined my parents on a trip to Alberta last week to visit my Grandpa's farm. I haven't been back in over 10 years. It was great to see the farm again and to visit family that I rarely get to see.

Babe sleeping in the truck on the drive to Alberta. She fussed the whole way, so much that we decided that Babe and I would fly home.

Babe sleeping with her grandpa at the hotel restaurant the first night of the trip.
She was tired from a long day of crying.

View from the hotel in Salmon Arm.

Taking a turn driving the truck. (It was parked)

Babe's first train sighting. (Nice socks Grandpa)

Farm shack.

Babe on a walk in the field at the farm.

Giant dandelion.

Babe playing with the giant dandelion.

At Sylvan Lake in her blow-up froggy.

Lake time.

Playing peek-a-boo with her towel.

My dad and I went riding one day while Babe stayed on the farm with Coco (Grandma).

One of the horses had a blue eye.

Took Babe to the Calgary Zoo. She loved the elephants and the pink flamingos.

Watching the ostrich with Grandpa.

Checking out some tropical plants with Coco.

I really wanted to get a pic of Babe in this kangaroo but she wasn't into it.

Babe and her flamingos.

Butterfly.

Another butterfly.

A sleepy Babe in front of the camels.

The domestic terminal at the Calgary airport had two of these cool airplane sculptures. If you cranked the knob (below) the planes flew around like a merry-go-round.
Babe watched them for half an hour while I charged my phone before the flight.

Cranking the knob.

Waiting to board the plane. Calgary in the background.

I wanted to find a fun souvenir for Babe of our trip to Alberta.  I looked everywhere for a baby cowboy hat but I couldn't find one. So I got Babe this stuffed-animal deer head for her nursery. Strangely she is obsessed with it.

We are back home again but only for a couple weeks and then we leave for Hornby Island! There have been some big changes on the home scene. Stay tuned for an update.