The Hike.

Having spent a significant potion of my life at least close to nature I, of course, like most other B.C.er's have developed an affinity for the outdoors.

I've always felt very at home in both the forest and the ocean. Like most little girls I loved almost all animals - the cute ones for sure. And that love stayed with me as I grew into an adult. Maybe less like little girls I later also made the choice to love most insects and tiny creatures as well.

I say it was a choice because liking bugs didn't come naturally to me. I hated them when I was a kid. Spiders especially. My Dad always had to come and rescue me from them. But he'd never kill God's little creatures and I remember he would always take them outside in a cup.

Back then I always secretly thought, 'Why not just kill them. They're gross.' But he never did.

Then as a late-teenager living alone in a cabin in the woods(ish) I was so bombarded by bugs and so exhausted from spending my nights straining my eyes to see the creepies in the dark and spending my days dreading the night that I finally just decided to like them. I reasoned it would be easier to convince myself that bugs were beautiful than it would be to continue listening with my eyes and seeing with my ears in a cold sweat in the dark.

Whatever. What I'm getting at is that I've always been a nature girl. I love being in the trees, being near the trees, sitting quietly and listening to the trees. I love the ocean. I love the salt in my hair and the seaweed against my legs and the pebbles under my toes.

But since moving to Smithers I've realized a flaw of sorts in my nature-loving.

I was graced with growing up in probably one of the only corners of the planet where both the forest and the ocean hosted really almost nothing at all that could hurt you. Not badly anyway.

Really. Where else is that true?

Most of my nature time has been spent on Hornby Island or much less-so, around the Lower Mainland.

So the feeling in my heart that I am so at one with nature, the confidence that I know the surroundings, that I'm at home in Canadian woods, that the ocean and the forest are my cradle is very much a house of cards. An illusion of strength and very flimsy at best.

This has briefly occurred to me over the years. Like the odd summer when a bear or a cougar were rumoured to have swam over to Hornby. Some sheep would go missing or there would be a few sightings and suddenly my walks home late at night with only the moon as a flashlight would be more edgy. I'd stress a little and once even freaked at a deer in the bushes and ran all the way back to my boyfriend's cabin to make him walk me home.

It was in those moments that I'd remind myself how safe the island really was. But of course I'd forget within days of hearing the beast had been trapped and relocated off-island.

So, I've never really had to worry about nature. Oh, there have been bees and jellyfish and spider bites and rashes and prickles. But nothing more.

Even when I trekked into the Amazon, I took my illusion of safety with me. By then I was so used to being comfortable in the outdoors and so disillusioned both by my crazy island-bubble back home where nothing had ever "gotten" me (because there was nothing to get me) and the general sense of immunity that comes with youth that I felt only slightly out of my element in a land that harbours literally thousands of natural killers. I swam with piraña and caiman and trekked through the rainforest with abandon.

But since having a baby I've lost a lot of my guts. I'm more nervous and much more cautious. and I'll let you in on a secret:

I always have been pretty nervous. What most would probably perceive as bravery or possibly stupidity in me when it come to my boldness with nature, is really just me attempting to counteract all the paranoia that I was raised with.

I had a very, very nervous mother and as I've read somewhere, "How you speak to your children will become their inner voice" which I believe is very much the truth. Probably because of my mother I've always had warning bells in the back of my mind. Goose bumps on my flesh and hair standing up on the back of my neck. Those little warning signs that you're supposed to listen to. Well those are genetically entwined in my existence. I have them all the time. Fears. Worries. So in order to ensure that I wasn't controlled by them the way I saw that my mother was, I sort of got into the habit of forging ahead regardless of whether the danger was real or apparent.

I've always had a hard time differentiating between the two. I can never tell if I'm just being overly-cautious or down-right paranoid or if it's actually common sense talking. In my twenties it didn't help that I surrounded myself with people who took the same risks as I did. So even if my voice of reason was so loud that I did take pause before crashing through the woods in the middle of the night, my friends often made me feel like a worry wort.

Now that I have Babe it's become even harder for me to distinguish the legitimate fears from the imagined. I can't seem to find the lines between adventure, common sense, parental concern, parental over-protection and paranoia. I'm trying to figure it out but I'm constantly questioning if I'm being too care-free or too-careful. It's a balance that I can't grasp.

So after moving here and starting to explore it became clear quite quickly that I wasn't as prepared for the woods as I would have liked to think I was. All of a sudden there are black bears and grizzly bears and moose (which apparently are more viscous than they sounds when you type out the word) and cougars and fucking packs of wolves.

And here I am, a single mom. No bring-home-the-bacon-fight-off-the-wolf-pack husband to lead the way and break the cobwebs. It's just us.

So now I'm stuck between desperately wanting some sense of the adventure that I had in my old life and needing to protect my daughter from harm. And again, I can't find a balance. You think it would just be common sense, right? But some people would say going for a half hour hike on a popular trail alone with an infant is totally normal and other people would say it's not a good idea at all. And I don't know who I am!!!!

So, we've been easing in with little adventures. But in keeping with the Nothing Is Ever Easy theme of my life, our little adventures so far have been completely just us. It's summer and I've been expecting other tourists to be out in the same areas as us but so far we've been pretty much alone.

Today I took Babe on what the Internet assured me was an easy, family-friendly, all-ages hike. Now, by family-friendly I suppose they meant it's not very steep. But when I read family-friendly I imagined there would be families there. When we pulled off the road to the parking lot(ish) I was a little concerned that the sign said it was two-hours round-trip, but we were already there by that point and I'm really stubborn.

Despite the promise of rain I really did expect other people to be hiking the area. I guess that's the city girl in me, you can never fucking get away from people...EVER.

So my heart sped up a little when it was clear by the lot that, just like last week, we were the only ones out there. But as I strapped Babe into the ERGO I reasoned others would be along shortly.

OK. So Smithers peeps who read this will probably think I'm insane for being nervous in this area but please remember - I just got here. I don't know this area from the next and I do find A LOT of comfort in the familiar and knowing what is around the next bend. In fact, I was much more comfortable on the way back having already passed everything once and being able to picture the area from the top than I was on the way out. New terrain scares me (nowhere more so than with technology but...)

So for the rest of this post I'm pretty much just going to take you along our hike - in my mind. This is it.

So Babe's on my back and it's like 10:00 in the morning. It's grey and a little misty but there's some blue patches

...and I have this folded note with directions in my pocket because they don't believe in signs up here.

I have snacks - But bears can smell food. I also have my period, so...

But I have bear spray so there's a little sense of safety there. And my cell, so that's good.

We start out through a field and it's really pretty.

Those are most definitely some patches where animals have slept. It reminds me of exploring the fields on my grandpa's farm and my Dad saying, "A moose was here last night".

Maybe it's just cows. The instructions said to keep the gates closed. It's probably just cows...

This grass is long. I can't see very far. Anything could hide in there.

Then the field trail transitions into a forest trail.

OK. So the instructions said a narrow forest trail. We're going the right way.

What was that?!

(I'll save you reading that line five thousand times. Let's just assume for the sake of time-saving that I thought "What was that?!" 5000 times on our hike. Please also note that I spent the entire time that I wasn't scanning the bush for bears, scanning the trail for signs of bears; footprints, broken sticks, trees that had been rubbed raw, poop...anything bear-ish. So basically that's what I was doing the whole way.)

Babe is chattering on my back. Right in my ear. It's hard to hear if anything is sneaking up on us. I wish I had a husband to keep her quiet. That makes no sense. He'd probably just be talking too.

Be quiet. I'm trying to hear danger!

Relax. Just get lost in the beauty of it all...

Seriously. Shut up!

This path is longer than the instructions led me to believe. I should've guessed that when they said it was only three km to the lot from the road. Whoever wrote these instructions had no sense of distance. Or didn't care.

Fuck this path is long.

It's probably not that long. It's the fear that drags it out.

Babe says her legs are getting scratched by branches. Shhhhhhhh! Quiet!

This is scary. I'm only gonna go a bit further and then we can just turn back.

We'll come another day when I have a friend here.

No. By then it'll be snowing and it won't stop until July. We must take advantage of the summer while it lasts.

Shhhh!

Quiet! I'm listening for wolf packs.

(It should also be noted that I turned around to look behind me a lot. And not just casually, but like some crazy gingerbread-house witch just tapped me on the shoulder.)

On My God! That bird just scared the shit out of me! My heart is racing.

Is that a moose print? If it is that's a fucking huge moose.

My Dad would probably like to shoot it.

I wish he was here. He'd confirm if there was a moose with dinner plate-sized hooves in the area.

Funny how he won't kill spiders but he is such an avid hunter.

Is that a bear?

Nope. Just a stump.

This path is soooooo long. Just a bit further and then I'm totally turning back.

Where the hell is that gravel road we are supposed to be coming up on?

Is that a bear bed? Was a bear sleeping there?

God. These trees are closing in on me.

That's definitely a dog print. A hiker with a dog from yesterday? Or a wolf?

Why did someone have to mention wolf packs after the city hall meeting the other night? I didn't even think about fucking PACKS of wolves until someone said it. That fear wasn't even on my radar.

I wish I was Mantracker.

I wish I watched more Mantracker.

I've seen enough Mantracker. I can do this.

Shhhhhh! Stop singing Frere Jacques. The wolves can hear you.

We're gonna die and it's gonna be because I taught this kid how to sing.

Fuck. I remember this National Geographic show...or maybe it was Planet Earth, where the one wolf jumps out and scares the shit out of you. And meanwhile, while you're running for your life, the other ones circle around and come in from the sides and take you down.

Yeah. It was Planet Earth. I think it was a baby gazelle or something.

Dammit! I wish I could tell the difference between a wolf print and a German Shepherd print.

I'm just gonna turn around. This is stupid. I should just turn around. I have a child.

Baaaahhh! Stupid bird! Goddamit! I hate birds! I hate all the birds! What? They can't hear us coming from a mile away. I'm stomping through the woods with a 25 pound mini me singing french children's songs at the top of her lungs...like there's not a care in the world...like she isn't just a beacon for the wolf packs to hone in on and these fucking stupid birds are all startled when we land right on top of them. How are they not extinct yet?

Ooooh! I see a house through the trees. Sweet. OK that's nice. I could make it to that house if I had to. They'd hear us scream.

If there were lots of bears around the people who live there probably would've erected a sign or something. They'd warn people. They might even hear us and call out and say it's not safe.

Fuck. If I see that bird again I'm gonna rip its beak off and use it to pull staples in my office.

Hmmm. Fear makes me cranky.

Talk. Talk to the baby...

Sound happy. This is fun. Yay!

Why did I watch the Blair Witch Project so many times?

Jooooooosssssssshhhh?

OK, at this point I can't run back to that house anymore. They might hear us scream but we wouldn't make it.

If we just sit down here how long would it be until someone came by? Maybe we can wait at the top for someone and then walk back with them. No. That would probably be annoying.

Did a bear break that branch? Did a bear push that tree over. Did a bear kill that frog?

Holy Hell! Is that the road?

Yes! We're finally on the road. This is awesome. There's some more space. I don't feel like something can just leap out anymore. I can see further than three feet.

Being on that path was like being one of those horses at Stanley Park with the blinders on. The ones that pull all the tourists.

OK. This is better.

But the directions said it's still 30 minutes to the lookout.

Great. Babe wants to walk. It's gonna be another hour to the lookout.

OK. So walk!

No. THAT way.

Go.

Go.

GO!

OK. This is kinda fun. It's really pretty. Nice fields.

Wolf or dog prints? Wolf or dog prints?

Dog. Surely it's a dog.

Please walk faster baby. You're dragging out Mommy's fear. Let's just get there and get home!

No. Let her walk. This is supposed to be fun.

Hey! Horse poop. Awesome. That means a horse has been through here. Maybe it scared the bears away. Hopefully it was through here recently. It smells recent. Gross.

Common Babe. Chop, chop. Quick like a bunny.

Common...

This is nice though. Just me and Babe. She's having fun. I'm glad she isn't scared. Look at her. All trusting. She has no idea that I'm putting her in danger. Am I? Am I a bad mom or a good mom? Is this good parenting or bad parenting? Probably good parenting if you're a family and you're all together. Probably bad parenting if you're just a single mom dragging your kid through the woods.

But that's not fair. We don't have a husband/daddy.

But I have bear spray. I'm a good mom.

Urgh! Except I'm out in the woods in an area that I'm not familiar with. And it's just crawling with huge animals out here. And here I am; 5 foot 3 with the flu and a chattering little bundle of blonde, bobbing ten steps behind me who probably reeks of vulnerability and veal-fresh meat.

This. This right here is why people get married. This is the reason.

Shhhh! Quiet. Please. Please. They'll eat us! Don't you get it. There's b-e-a-r-s out here.

No there's not.

Hey! The top! Holy Hell. We made it to the top.

Oh. This is steep. I probably shouldn't be doing this sick. My head feels like it's going to explode.

Who invented going up stuff. Going up stuff is haaaard.

So that's it. Basically that's exactly what was going through my mind on our walk. Honestly. I know because I made an extra effort to remember it. That actually helped keep me calm. Trying to remember my crazy thoughts.

The view was really spectacular. And Babe and I had a little picnic. And a couple other people did come and go. Two on a quad and two on mountain bikes. So on the way back I could see their tracks and I knew they had been through and maybe scared off any creatures.

Actually, when I asked the one bike guy if he had seen any bears he laughed and said no. It kinda sounded like he thought I was paranoid. So I felt a little better like maybe it wasn't likely that there were any around those parts.

And I texted on the way back which took my mind off my fears.

We actually really lucked out because the clouds were coming in fast and I hadn't brought a coat for Babe or myself. And as soon as we got to the truck it started to pour!

What luck.

And just as I was pulling out to drive away...

A black bear! He just meandered across the road and into the woods we had just stumbled through. I don't know if it was luck or a warning. Maybe someone telling me to heed my fears or telling me that everything would be OK. I have no idea.

It did confirm my worries - and calmed them at the same time.

*Update: Last night after this hike I found a list of all the people known to be killed by bears since the late 1800's. Just like a true researcher, I read every one. I doubt that this information will help me at all in the future.

Saying Goodbye to 139.

OK everyone:

Big changes. For the time being this blog is no longer going to be about a single mom in Vancouver. That's right. There's still plenty of single moms in Vancouver but I'm not one of them.

After a long, brutal job search I finally settled on a position as the new radio news reporter for a station called The Peak in Smithers B.C.

We had less than two weeks to find a new place and new daycare, pack and move. And I'll tell you right now, we just barely pulled it off. Starting a whole new adventure is one thing when you're 22 and single, it's another thing entirely when you have a toddler. 

The final week was go, go, go, from morning until night (not like it isn't always with a baby). A lot of packing and last-minute errands punctuated by tearful goodbyes.

It was actually a lot sadder than I thought it would be to leave our apartment. It was after all the place where I went into labour, where we brought Babe home from the hospital. Her first bedroom, all her firsts pretty much were there. I was really sad to dismantle her room. 

On the last day after the guys had taken apart Babe's crib I found a little surprise on the wall. Obviously some dirty little toes had found their way through the bars and left a printbehind. I left it there. I couldn't bare to wipe it off. Let the next tenants do it.

These are pics from the very last time we left the apartment. I'm not usually so sentimental but the two years we lived there were filled with so many milestones. The pregnancy. Bringing Babe home from the hospital. J moving out and Babe and I starting a life on our own. It was my kitty Sprout's final home (and that cat moved with me A LOT). Babe crawled home in that hallway. She walked home in that hallway. She learned how to point out the 1-3-9 on our door. It was sad to think we can never go back there.  

But we are here in Smithers now. It's been over a week and we are settling in. My parents came up with us and stayed for a few days. And since they left it's been just the two of us, figuring out a new life. This last couple weeks have been really hard, I'm not gonna lie. But I can't wait to share this next adventure with you all. Stay tuned as a West Coast mommy turns into a Northern one. Is this north? It feels north?

Babe looking a little shellshocked. It's been a lot of change for her.

Starting Daycare.

So Babe started daycare a couple weeks ago. I was really excited to see how it would go. She is usually very social and independent so I initially thought it would be a pretty smooth transition, except for the group napping which I scoffed at and figured would take months for her to master.

Surprisingly it's been a little more difficult on her than I had anticipated. I think she really likes the kids and the teachers but she is having a harder time with the separation from me than I thought she would. She cries and looks genuinely worried and heartbroken when I leave but as a former nanny I know that she is fine a few minutes after I'm gone. And I know it is healthy for her to have time away from Mommy, learn how to interact in a group environment and form bonds with other adults. Still though, it's hard to walk away from her when she seems so upset.


The anxiety of our separation is now spilling over into the rest of the week, to the point where I can no longer shower or pee without her sobbing from abandonnment in the next room. But hopefully this is all part of the transition period and it will pass.

I know she has fun because when I come to get her she is smiling, dirty or covered in paint. She mentions her new friends and teachers throughout the week and plays new games that she has picked up from school.

But the biggest surprise of all is that she napped right from the first day! This is the child that at home needs her crib, blackout curtains, three specific stuffies, white noise and music, a bottle and her star projector. And here she is, napping in a room with a bunch of other kids. I just can't believe it.

I'll write updates as they happen but for now it's been a pretty run of the mill first daycare experience. Lots of ups and downs and a real milestone.

What To Ask A Nanny: Advice From A Nanny.

I worked as a nanny for many different families in the Lower Mainland over the last 10 to 12 years. For a long time I worked on short-term contracts for families that needed temporary care and because of that I met with many, many different families and was on the employee-side of the interview process many, many times. I also sometimes helped families choose a replacement for myself or gave them nanny or general childcare advice.

Because of my history in childcare and this blog, I've recently had many new mommies seek my advice on hiring their first nanny. They've been curious about what questions to ask, what qualifications to look for and what the nanny-family relationship should look like.

So I'm going to post here the information that I have been giving to new moms regarding hiring their first nanny. Please keep in mind these tips are my opinions, from my experience and what I have found to work best. They are general and should be tailored to meet your family's specific needs. Take what you want and leave the rest. Maybe there's something you wouldn't have thought to ask or maybe my tips will flick a switch and you'll think of something even better. 

Good Luck with your search!

Let me start off by saying that a successful nanny-family relationship is one where both parties feel respected and integral in the child’s life. It is important to treat the person you choose for a nanny like family. She is after all basically a hired mother to your children who is taking on a very important role in your absence. The more your nanny feels that her efforts are valued and that she is cared about the more likely it is that she will want to be as diligent and loyal as she can be. And the more likely it is that she will be more flexible with schedule changes or doing extra duties etc.

I was lucky to have very, very few bad experiences and I was usually treated very well. And because my families made me feel like part of the family I often went above and beyond the call of duty for them by performing extra duties (such as cleaning, laundry, etc.) or staying late on short notice – because I wanted to help them out.

That being said it is also important to establish right away that this is YOUR family, YOUR children and that whatever rules, values, techniques you have working in your household are to be followed. I have known parents who have been too casual and friendly in the beginning and it has led to the nanny seeing the relationship as more of a friendship than an employer/employee relationship. This has led to bending rules that the parents have set, forgetting to perform duties that are expected or calling in “sick” too many times.

It’s a really delicate balance that is hard to explain. I say establish that what you say goes and that this is a “job” early on. But then be as kind and generous as you can be because the more wanted the nanny feels the less likely you are to have problems later. Not the least of which is being tempted away by a better offer. After all, there is always someone willing to pay more for childcare and there is a shortage of excellent nannies in the city so you definitely want your nanny to be loyal to your family and not leave you hanging by switching families.

Duties: As far as duties go it is VERY important to establish what you expect right from the start. Some nannies only care for the children and do not do anything else. Others will care for the kids and do kid-related tidying and laundry but won’t cook or clean and other nannies do everything. Ask in the interview what they will or won’t do. Tell them exactly what you are looking for so that they don’t feel tricked later when you spring the laundry on them.

Keep in mind that the more cleaning you expect the less time the nanny is spending with your children. Imagine if you had to vacuum the house, dust, wash dishes, fold laundry and run errands each day. How much quality time would you be spending with your kids? No one can be a fun, energetic nanny that involves the kids in activities and provides stimulating play AND clean the house and prepare dinner. If you want your nanny to be a house cleaner than you need to be OK with your kids sitting in front of the TV.

So decide what it is you need done and make sure that in the interview you make the duties very clear. Then when you pick someone make and post a list of what you want done. Example: 

• Driving child
• Child’s laundry only
• Tidying toys and kitchen
• Walking dog
• Grocery shopping once per week 
• One evening per month for date-night

There were times early on in my nanny career where I didn’t make a list of chores with the family and as the months wore on I was slowly expected to perform more and more duties for no additional pay. No matter how friendly everyone is with each other it’s best to just have in writing all the duties, wages, house rules etc.

Experience: Ask them why they are a nanny? For how long? What do they like most about the job? What do they find the most difficult/challenging? Why did they leave their last position? What age ranges of children have they cared for? Do they have ECE? (Some parents really want a nanny with ECE and others don’t care. I personally don’t have it but I had a lot of experience. It’s a personal choice but usually ECE nannies are paid more and are more likely to be on their way to a position in a school, daycare etc.) 

Rules: Explain your house rules and childrearing techniques and discuss with the potential nanny if she is comfortable with your way of doing things. This is probably the most important thing to agree on. You definitely want someone who is on board with your techniques. Some parents spank and others would never even raise their voice. Consistency is key in establishing boundaries for your children. If they have a naughty chair when Mommy is home but the nanny lets them run amok and won’t use the chair then everyone is wasting their time. Ask them how they disciplined children in the last places they worked and if they found that method to be effective. Obviously little babies aren’t disciplined at all. But if your baby is still little it won’t be long before he/she is a toddler and you should still have an understanding of how a tantrum will be handled in your absence. You don’t want to fall in love with your perfect nanny only to discover a year later that they refuse to discipline your child.

Background: Definitely ask for references!!!!!!! Do not hire anyone who can’t produce good references. Be concerned about anyone whose references are really old (ex: where is the references from the last two years???) Make sure they aren’t just personal references such as family members or other nanny friends. You can ask for a criminal check. The nanny has to go to the police station and get it done and I think it’s $40. But (I assume) a foreign nanny who is here on a visa or something won’t be able to obtain that since they aren’t a citizen. I have worked independently and for agencies and have had to obtain many criminal checks over the years. If you aren’t that concerned about the crim. check than please, please check references thoroughly.

** Note: Sometimes when a nanny leaves a family because of any number of innocent reasons the family is inconvenienced and upset at the nanny’s departure. It wouldn’t be entirely uncommon for an employer to give a bad reference out of spite or anger (after all, this is a very personal relationship and unlike in other businesses people can feel very hurt by their nanny or employer). One family had just hired me and I was shocked to hear my new employer giving a horrible reference on the phone to someone who was calling about her previous nanny. The nanny had been with them for years and as far as I knew hadn’t done anything really wrong when they up and fired her for coming home late with the baby. It’s possible that one bad reference says more about the employer than your nanny candidate. Just follow your gut.

Skills: FIRST AID!!!!!!! Do not hire anyone who doesn’t have it. Check that the certification is still valid and if you know about first aid yourself ask them questions like: What would you do for a burn? How do you perform CPR on an infant? On a 4-year-old? If you find someone that you love but they don’t have it than make it a requirement that they get certified within a certain time-frame. It’s only a one-day class.

Driving: If you want a nanny to drive I would ask them to get a driver’s abstract to show you. It’s been a long time, but I think they have to get it from the driver licence centre. Ask them how long they have been driving, if they have ever been in accidents and how confident they feel in driving the children. Decide if they will be using your car or their own. If it’s their own car then make sure it is a safe vehicle and know that it is common practice to pay an additional car allowance. I think my last employers paid $.25 per km or something. Make sure their insurance is valid and will cover your precious cargo in the event of an accident!!

Questions:

• What do you do in your spare time?
• What makes you a good nanny?
• What activities do you like to do with the kids?Are you comfortable running, jumping, climbing, playing hockey outside etc…
• What are your wage expectations?
• How much vacation time are you expecting? (Keep in mind that if you travel a lot and have a full-time nanny it is expected that you pay the nanny for the time you are away and she is not working. Not many nannies can afford to take four weeks off unpaid just because you can afford it. If you take extra vacations be prepared to pay her salary while you are away. Or else work out an arrangement that suits you both when she is hired.)
• Are you willing to travel? 
• Do you have a valid passport? (Some nannies travel with the family instead of staying at home)
• Are you comfortable nannying while the parents are at home?
• Do you smoke, drink or take drugs?
• Are you comfortable around pets?
• Do you socialize during work hours? (ex: meeting friends at the park, bringing a boyfriend over or talking on the phone. Some families are fine with this and others aren’t. Make your wishes clear.)
• What activities do they do with the children? 
• What do they see a typical day looking like for your child? 
• Do they speak another language?
• How long do you see yourself staying with us? 
• Can you commit to a year? Two?

If the nanny is live-in make sure you cover things like:

• How is the room and board worked out?
• What space is available for the nanny?
• What hours will she be working?
• Who can/can’t visit her during her off hours at home?

Please keep in mind that just because you have a live-in nanny doesn't mean she is on duty 24 hours a day. Off times are time OFF from your kids. Don't get greedy and summon her from the basement bedroom every time someone wets the bed in the middle of the night. Be extra clear on work hours/days so there is no confusion.

Make sure to add any questions that are specific to your family. For example: 

• Will the nanny be working odd hours? 
• Do you have a special needs child? 
• Are you religious or is the nanny? And will that be a conflict at all? 
• Will the nanny be bringing her own child to work? If so is that child and yours going to be compatible?

Have the child(ren) present during the interview, or at least part of it, and observe how the nanny interacts with them. Once you have chosen someone, be at home for the first day or two to ease the transition for baby or child and to observe how things are going. After that, come home early every once in awhile just to see what’s going on. There are of course nanny-cams as well and that is a choice you can make.

Agencies: Finding someone that you can trust with your kids is serious business. It's likely not going to be the first person who responds to your ad on Craigslist. If looking for a nanny is too daunting a task there are agencies that will pre-screen candidates and check their references etc for you. There are good and bad agencies. And they all cost money but they save you the time looking yourself and many will replace someone who doesn’t work out within a certain time frame. Choose an agency carefully. Some say that they check criminal records and driver’s abstracts etc. but never actually do. However some are definitely worth the money especially if you want to rest assured that your selection is qualified or if you don't have hours and hours to devote to the search.

The Fit: Find someone that you feel really comfortable with. This is the person you are trusting with the most important person in your life. Make sure they are happy and respected and that you fully trust them. I recommend sitting down once every couple months to evaluate how things are going. It gives the nanny and you a chance to express concerns or bring up new issues and it keeps everybody on the same page. Also many families like to have a daily journal where the nanny briefly writes down what they did that day, any minor injuries, new foods, discipline issues, additional chores done…it’s a good way to keep the communication going.

And definitely watch your child (or if they are older, ask them how it is going with their new nanny). There is usually a semi-difficult transition period right at the beginning but after that it should be clear if your child isn’t connecting well with the nanny. Start with a probation period so that if after a couple months your child still hasn’t warmed to his/her nanny then you can start looking for someone new without too many hard feelings.

A Little Farm in Abbotsford.

On Victoria Day my parents and I drove all the way out to Abbotsford to take Babe to visit Maan Farms, which my father had spotted while running errands a few days before.

The place is a family-run farm, market and winery and for kids it has a small petting zoo and play area.

It was Babe's first time seeing pigs and only her second time seeing goats. However the first time she saw goats they were on the roof at Coombs so this time was much more interactive. The baby goat was so cute I wanted to load him in the back of the truck when no one was looking. But then I remembered that my apartment doesn't allow dogs and likely won't allow goats.

Babe's favorite was the rooster because he was so noisy. They also had baby chickens in a coop, ducks, rabbits, goats, pigs, peacocks and an alpaca. 

My favorite, the baby goat.

Babe also loved the slide. It was pretty big and really fast. The older kids were really having a blast on it, using burlap sacks to increase their speed. The first time I let Babe go down I let her sit up and she fell back and bumped her head. But that mishap didn't stop her from repeating the ride over and over... and over again.

Here is a sequence of her sliding on her back:

And here is a sequence of her sliding out of control:

She LOVED it!

Babe also went on her first water slide (on my lap) in Richmond last week and had a blast. She made an excited inhaling noise the whole way down each time. I think I definitely have an adrenaline junkie on my hands. 

After playing outside we had a tasty lunch in the market. The menu is super simple. But we all ordered paninis which were very good.

I don't know that I would recommend driving all the way out to Abbotsford just to visit the farm but if you can tie it in with another reason to head out there then I would definitely say take the kids to Maan Farms. FYI there is a place nearby where you can take the kids and fish for trout in a pond. I think it is this place, but I didn't catch the name when we passed it. Anyway, you could hit both places in one day and maybe that would justify the long drive. 

According to the Maan Farms website they also have a pumpkin patch and corn maze in the fall so that could be a great time to visit as well.

The trip was a bit of a bust for me though. Despite the misleading farm name, they do not farm men there, I did not find one and I am still single. Too bad :)

A Fun Saturday: Doors Open Richmond.

I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to blog about this earlier thereby giving any of you who didn't know about the opportunity a better chance to come out this weekend. But I did want to post tonight about the places we went so that if you are inspired you can still come out tomorrow.

This weekend is Doors Open Richmond. An annual festival where many of Richmond B.C.'s cultural and heritage sites are free and open to the public to check out. Please visit the website HERE if you want to see a list of the over 40 places that are participating in this year's event.

There were lots of places that I wanted to check out with Babe but with a little one in tow you really have to limit the amount of time you spend trucking all over the place. So I decided that this year we would visit some of the many houses of worship along Number 5 Road.

I drive past them weekly and I'm always curious about what they look like on the inside and I know that many are open to everyone all the time or at least have visitor hours but I was uncomfortable just showing up so Doors Open Richmond was the perfect opportunity to visit.

We first went to the Thrangu Monastery. We were allowed to take photos inside so that's why I have more from this place. Babe loved it. When we arrived they were in prayer and Babe seemed soothed by the soft, rhythmic chanting. There are 10 monks in residence at the monastery and according to the pamphlet it is the first of its kind in the Pacific Northwest.

Next we went to the Az-Zahraa Islamic Centre where we were greeted by the most well-mannered and eloquent little boy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. They had a room set up with informative displays on aspects of Muslim faith from art, food and calligraphy to the true meaning of jihad and reasons for the hijab. They also had an tour of the facility which Babe and I only made it partially through because she was determined to run amuck.

After the islamic centre we walked next door to the Gurdwara Nanak Niwas, the Indian Cultural Centre. We briefly toured the facility which was in the middle of hosting a sikh wedding. Babe and I loved seeing all the women in their beautiful traditional clothing and we even got to sneak a peek at the bride and groom! Afterwards lunch was being served downstairs which looked and smelled amazing. However we had plans to meet my mom for lunch so instead Babe just snacked on some watermelon and grooved to the music. There were so many people and things that I wanted to photograph but I didn't want to intrude on the wedding. I wish we had time tomorrow to go and check out the other Gurdwara tomorrow.

Finally we stopped in at the Ling Yen Mountain (Buddhist) Temple. By this time we were in a bit of a hurry to meet my mom but Babe, now a little tired and hungry still enjoyed it. She was awed by the big gold Buddha and she was in love with the volunteers after they gave her a couple of baby-sized buddhist bracelets. The courtyard is beautiful and walking along the outdoor halls and listening to the wind chimes was really relaxing. Afterwards we went in the back garden and I took off my shoes and walked along the pebble pathways for a little foot massage while Babe played with the rocks.

Minoru Chapel is also open to visitors this weekend but we didn't get a chance to go. We walk by it all the time and the outside is so pretty I'd love to see the inside. But that will have to wait until next time.

So if you still don't have anything planned for Sunday (May 5th) maybe head out to Richmond and check out some of the many Doors Open locations. Otherwise I hope you enjoyed the photos from our tour of some of the many places of worship in Richmond and keep them in mind the next time you are out this way.

Keepsakes: Explosion Boxes.

I just thought I'd share some pics of my first attempt at making explosion boxes. Back at Christmas I made each of my parents one and J one as well. They turned out to be nice little keepsakes
of Babe's first year. 

I also made these adorable little sewing kits for all the women in my family. Each recycled baby food jar has needles, thread, a thimble, a measuring tape, pins, little fabric patches and some buttons. To make them extra special I turned the lid into a pin cushion and put a personalized label on each one. They are the perfect size for traveling or keeping at an office, summer cabin or in a guest room.

Inside each box is photos from Babe's first year as well as her ultrasound image, footprint and little embellishments.