She's a Girl.

When we were in Auckland E's daughter had a little play stove in the kitchen which Babe just loved. She played with it every day that we were there and littered the house with the pots and pans that went with it. She loved it so much that I made a mental note to try to find something similar here in Vancouver.

Then the other day we were in Walmart and I remembered the stove and decided to check the toy isle to see if I could find one.

Of course the one E's kid has was found in a second hand store and it's way cooler than any of the crap you'd buy at Walmart. It's plastic too, but not the China-lead-paint-cheap-ass-Walmart plastic. It's the hard plastic that snaps into dangerous shards not the soft plastic that bends forever like silly putty. And E's stove makes cooking sounds and the burners light up and it's actually the colours you'd find on a real stove. It's not a pink stove with purple burners and a sparkly flower oven door with a fucking Disney princess on it or something. And it's super small and compact and fits nicely in a real kitchen. But nevertheless, I wanted to get something...

But of course all the Walmart kitchens were huge and completely unnecessary for a one year old. I know I'll have to purchase one of them later but I'm not yet at the place in my parent-life where I'm willing to buy toys that come in refrigerator-sized boxes. But then just as we were about to leave we came upon a stack of mini-kitchens on sale for $20. The kids pictured with it on the box were Babe's age and the thing wasn't too big. And better yet, it was cheap, so I wouldn't feel bad about donating it to the thrift store in six months.

So I bought it and Babe seemed to know what it was by looking at the box and she seemed excited.

But when I was looking for the kitchens we passed a row of plastic tool benches. And the first thought in my head was, "Well here's all the tool benches, where the hell are the girl's kitchens?" And that thought bugged me on the drive home. Why did I so eagerly dismiss the tool benches as being for boys? Was I already falling victim to society's gender roles and guiding my daughter more towards Barbies and fairy dresses and away from Transformers and army men? It bugged me.

It was still bugging me two hours later when the Walmart kitchen was built and Babe was happily putting cups and saucers inside the oven.

Then I realized something cool.

I paid for the toy and hauled it in from the truck. I spent almost two hours with 500 parts scattered in a pokey puddle at my feet. Seriously, for $20 they don't get you started on fucking anything. For $20 you get 500 pieces swept off the factory floor and some generic instructions that apply to various models of similar toys.

My tool box was out and my screwdrivers were spread all over the place. Sharp tools that I had to continuously confiscate from Babe who would snatch one as soon as she sensed my focus was elsewhere.

Babe watched me sift through a hundred little pieces to find the right one. She saw me drop screws and bump my head on the table looking for them. She heard me swear more than once. She probably noticed my butt crack.

She quizzically listened while I explained what I was doing. She played in a poopy diaper for longer than is acceptable because I was too focussed on what I was doing to stop and change her. She saw her mom do all of that. And that's pretty manly shit I was doing.

So who cares if the end result is a kitchen set instead of a tool bench - we used tools to make it. Babe is gonna grow up in a house where it's her mommy that does the blue jobs and the pink jobs. And she wouldn't be lying if she told her baby-friends that her mommy can drive a forklift in high heels. (She'd be a genius - but not a liar).

Single moms do it all. So I guess being a single mom gets me off worrying if I'm stereotyping my daughter.

P.S. While building the toy I also had dinner cooking and the laundry on.

Northern New Zealand with a Baby.

So we stayed at the rented house in Mangonui (Maori for big shark) for the rest of the trip. Babe and I spent a lot of time at Cooper's Beach, usually with E, her husband and kids during the day. Then sometimes in the evening Babe and I would walk the path through the bush and go for an evening swim before her bedtime.

Babe was just starting to walk unassisted when we left for New Zealand but by mid-trip she had completely abandoned crawling. And within a few beach trips she figured out how much fun it was to walk on the beach and by the end of our stay she was running fearlessly into the waves and chasing seagulls on the sand.

And I even screwed up the courage to drive the twisty back road down to the village one day for a little shopping and some fish and chips at the Mangonui Fish Shop with Babe. It wasn't that daredevil of me considering I was able to avoid the main road and all but two intersections. Before we left E kept reminding me to keep myself in the center of the road (on my side of the line) and I'd be fine - which we were.

On the beach after a swim.

Despite not being able to do all the adventurous things I'd normally do on a trip we had a great time just hanging out on the beach and relaxing. And considering her baby was born the day I arrived E did amazingly well at getting out of the house herself. We even walked up the Rangikapiti Pa (Woot! I remembered the spelling of it!!!). Pa were Maori defensive forts on hilltops in northern New Zealand.

Looking down on Cooper's Beach.

The pa in the background.

Photo courtesy: Dumb and Dumber

I also experienced another first-time-mommy right of passage. I cut my kid's hair myself and fucked it up. I figured it couldn't be that hard because all I had to do was shave a tiny bit off of her bangs to keep them out of her eyes. And she sits so still at the salon...Well, she wriggled all over the place and I cut her bangs too short. Now she looks ridiculous. The length of her bangs combined with the totally annoying screaming sound she makes in the car reminds me of Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.

Anyway, we came back to Auckland the day before we were due to fly out and I still really wanted to see the other coast and get some black sand for my travel jar. (Each time I travel to a new place I fill a Mason jar with trinkets I collected on the trip.)  So the morning of our last day we piled everyone in the cars (we couldn't fit three car seats in one car) and drove the 45 minutes to Piha Beach (location of the Piha Rescue T.V. show) for some black sand and the best burger and fries (hot chips) I have ever had in my life!

Once again Babe loved the beach although it was far too rough to go swimming. She was so happy she actually just lay down at one point and snuggled the sand. It got everywhere. It was still in her hair and eyelashes when we got back to Vancouver.

Babe hugging the beach.

The girls waiting for their hot chips.

It was also awesome to see another ocean/sea/body of water - the Tasman Sea. After our trip to Piha it was time to go back to E's place, throw our stuff in the car and head for the airport. I'll update you on flying home with Babe in the next post. For now I've got a still slightly jet-lagged baby to tend to.

Windy New Zealand.

Being a winter baby, Babe isn't used to driving with the windows down. The wind was blasting her in the face and despite the hot day she was less than impressed. So instead of comforting her I thought I'd snap a series of photos. I just thought they were too funny not to share.

She's fine now. Don't worry.

New Zealand With a Baby.

My cousin E is a very close friend of mine from New Zealand. She lived in Canada for 10 years and that’s when we became such good friends. But over four years ago she and her husband decided to pack up and move back to New Zealand. After they arrived E had a baby girl and then was expecting another this Christmas.

These last few years we have missed each other like crazy but neither of us has had the funds or opportunity to visit the other. It has been really sad to have been so close as single girls and then to not be there for each other when we had our babies.

But recently a new friend offered to give me some of his flyer points so that I could go see E and her family – just in time for the new baby’s arrival! The opportunity for a reunion was too good to pass up and since I’m still unemployed (more on the job search later) and since the weather is so shitty in Vancouver right now it seemed like a great time to go.

E and her daughter greeting their new baby!

So here we are. Babe and I are in New Zealand for a couple weeks hanging with family and seeing a bit of the country as well. With three kids I knew this wasn’t going to be a “traveling” kind of trip but I have had the chance to see some things in between tantrums, feedings and makeshift routines, and hopefully Babe and I can explore some more before we ship out.

First off, Babe and I had to brave a 14-hour flight just to get here. Thank God we had a direct flight. And even better we lucked out and managed to score one of the only empty seats on the plane so Babe had her own space (sort of). If you’re curious about flying with a baby please read my previous posts on the topic – most of it still applied to this trip.

It was an overnight flight which was great because it kept Babe on pretty much the same schedule and significantly cut down on the amount of time I had to entertain her.

Sky Tower.

We survived the night of tossing and turning and scooching past the aisle-seated lady to use the potty one hundred times and landed semi-alert in Auckland. E, now almost two weeks overdue was waiting to pick us up at the arrivals gate – in the early stages of labour! She was contracting as we walked out to greet her.

We were barely settled in a few hours later when E rushed off to the hospital and popped out a beautiful baby boy. He is perfect and I’m so glad we were here for his arrival.

Understandably the next few days we were pretty much house-bound. Since I’m only here for a couple weeks I’m not interested in risking driving. I would try to wrap my mind around driving on the “wrong side of the road” if I was single and/or was staying for longer. But with Babe in tow it seems silly to risk an accident on such a short trip.

To get out of the house for a bit Babe and I went up Sky Tower in downtown Auckland. The line-up took forever because only two of the four elevators (or lifts) were working. But luckily babe slept through that part. The views at the top were spectacular and a good way to start a trip to Auckland as it gives you a 360-degree view of the city and it’s surroundings.

Babe checking out the view of the city. Rangitoto volcano in the background.

Babe sitting on the glass floor. I think it made both of us a little nervous.

"Hey, there are cars down there

Killing time waiting for our bus back to Waterview.

After another couple days at home we all piled into two cars and headed north to Mangonui where E and her husband had rented a house near the beach. It's beautiful up here and Babe is loving the beach and the warm weather.

Eating a plum at the beach. T-shirt by Pina.