Shhhh. Can You Hear That?

I had lunch and a fun visit with a friend and her new baby the other day. And among the many things she packed up for us to use was a Graco Prenatal Heart Listener.

The hand-held device is similar to the Doppler equipment that a medical caregiver uses to hear the baby but it is not Doppler. It just magnifies the sounds within the womb when held to the tummy.

The instructions say that a woman must be in her third trimester before the heartbeat is strong enough to be picked up by the mic. I still have another week to go before I am in the third trimester and I haven't yet been able to find the heartbeat with the listener.

Still, I can hear fluids rushing through the placenta and when baby moves I can hear it. I'm hoping I will hear the heartbeat soon and can then use the listener to calm my fears when I don't feel movement for awhile.

In the meantime I've been checking on my own heartbeat and the heartbeat of my cat. We are both in good health.

The Crib.

This is not our crib. Ours is still in the box. This is an expensive crib.

How far a mother will go to stay on budget:

Even though we already have a beautiful bassinet that my aunt bought for us, it will only keep the baby comfy for so long. So we will eventually need a crib. I knew the new styles that convert into a bed later would be a money saver, but besides that I hadn’t started really looking.

Although I think many of the cribs at Vancouver’s baby stores are gorgeous we simply can’t afford to spend a ton of money on baby things and I had already decided that I would rather splurge on a stroller than a crib. So I knew that I was looking for a simple model and I had a few ideas from past nanny jobs. One crib from IKEA was affordable and would serve us just fine despite being nothing special to look at but I was still thinking maybe I could get a prettier crib on a shopping trip across the border.

Then one evening I was stuck in traffic after a long day at work and daydreaming of getting home to have a nap when I heard that IKEA was having a midnight madness sale. There are two items from the store that I had already decided I needed for the nursery and I also had the crib in my mind.

Despite being exhausted I rallied the last of my energy and decided to brave the crowds in the hopes of saving us some money. I knew exactly where the items were in the store and I decided I would look only at those things and if any were on sale I would grab them.

IKEA on a slow day is an exercise in parking physics. I usually opt for the distant spots, the kind that should have a shuttle bus to the store, because it’s actually a time saver instead of driving around looking for a closer spot.

On midnight madness day, parking at IKEA is at best an improbability if not impossibility. I finally found a spot after about 20 minutes of laps and many near fender benders (in my Mom’s car).

True to plan I ignored the posters advertising amazing deals for every hour of the day and plowed through screaming kids, exhausted parents and blissful new couples looking to pad their love nests and headed straight for the kids section. Two of the items I wanted were not on sale. One has been in the store for damn near 10 years and hasn’t been on sale for an hour in that time. But my ho-hum crib was significantly reduced in price.

I was now intent on securing this particular bed at this exact moment despite having months of my pregnancy left to shop around. I ran (No, waddled.) to the warehouse aisles lined to the ceiling with stock and found only four of my cribs left. Ahhh!

I ran (waddled) back to the parking lot with one of those paper IKEA tape measures to see if the crib would fit. I had to fight off glazed-over zombie shoppers still waiting to find a spot and get inside. Warning: returning to your vehicle for any other reason than to leave the lot is a safety risk.

To my dismay my measurements told me the crib wouldn’t fit. I decided that this was a trivial problem. I would buy the crib and worry about getting it home afterwards. To me I saw the options as being; beg an employee to help me attach it to the outside of the car somehow or sit in the lot (to the dismay of everyone still circling) and wait for hours until I could get my parents to come with their truck.

I went back inside, bought the crib and left it at the loading dock while I went to get the car.

Again, when I went out to my car I had many idlers stalking me, just waiting for me to leave. I really felt the pressure to vacate my spot as quickly as possible. It was really stressful trying to maneuver my car out of the spot while three different vehicles jostled behind me all waiting to try to beat the other in. Because of them I could only back up and pull out in one direction. But as soon as I tried to drive away, one car waiting for my spot refused to reverse even an inch to let me by. I guessed he was afraid that reversing slightly would appear to the other parking lot hunters as surrendering his territory. So he stayed put, which kept me blocking my spot. He was motioning to me to go the other way but there was no way I could turn around now.

So when he finally backed up an inch to let me drive past him I, in all my mother-to-be class, yelled, “stay out of my way…MOTHERFUCKER!”

I immediately felt ashamed of my behaviour, but I was overcome by the tension in the air. It was only after I tried to slip past the next car that that driver informed me the lane was one way and I was going against the grain. The other guy was just trying to tell me I couldn’t exit that way. Oops!

Embarrassed at how vulgar I was, especially considering I was there to buy a crib, I headed to the loading dock. But within 50 feet of my destination I got stuck behind two cars jostling for the same spot. I was entertained as I watched a woman in a mini van quickly slide herself into the spot while the other vehicle was cautiously backing into it.

But my bemusement turned to boredom and then irritation as the one driver abandoned his vehicle, blocking my path, to berate the other for stealing his spot. After repeatedly demanding that she vacate the precious spot it became clear I would be sitting in the lot forever if I didn’t haul my pregnant ass over and convince his humiliated passenger to move their vehicle. But as I went to get out of my car, I was trapped by another car trying to back out of the spot beside me.

So there we all sat. Confused, stubborn, resigned. No one was moving for anyone else. The sale and the subsequent parking lot mayhem had eaten away at our common sense and none of us knew how to untangle ourselves.

Finally, as she grabbed her purse and headed off to shop it was obvious that the woman had no intention of handing over the spot and the angry man had no choice but to admit defeat and begin circling the lot again. I was finally free to cross the 50 feet to the loading dock and the guy beside me could finally leave his spot to the crowd that had formed behind us.

From there it was smooth sailing. An IKEA employee (who probably has a masters in physics) managed to fit the boxed crib into the back of the tiny car and I made it out of the lot with a couple more near misses and some curses that I was decent enough to utter under my breath instead of yell out the window.

The experience was exhausting, but the crib was a great bargain!

Snoogle Review.

My Snoogle Pregnancy Pillow all coiled up.

I caved.

I had hoped that I would be able to get through the uncomfortable nights of this pregnancy by wedging pillows under various body parts for support and comfort. But it wasn’t working.

My hips are killing me. I limp or shuffle now. My chest feels like someone is sitting on it and it gets hard to breathe. It’s nearly impossible to get into a comfortable sleeping position and twice as difficult to get out of it when I have to pee. My pillows never stay in place throughout the night, they migrate over to J’s side of the bed or fall out onto the floor within an hour. And every time I roll over, I have to start placing pillows all over again.

So because I’m already this uncomfortable and still have fifteen weeks (give or take) to go I invested in a Snoogle the other day. And I’m going to marry it.

The last few nights have been so much more comfortable than the last few months. I look forward to curling up and going to sleep now, instead of dreading it.

In case you’re pregnant and you haven’t discovered this pregnancy pillow let me fill you in. It’s a long noodle shape about 6 inches thick (think a nice poofy pillow) that curves into a C at each end.

Because doctors recommend that pregnant women sleep on their side (not that you have a choice after a certain point) most women require extra support under the pressure points to stay comfortable and avoid leg cramps, hip pain and belly discomfort.

I sleep on my side with the Snoogle running the length of my front. One end of the C curls under my head as my pillow and the other end curls between my knees to keep my hip joints more comfortable. Then there is just enough length at each end that if I roll over the ends stop me from sleeping flat on my back (which during pregnancy can cause various unfortunate ailments). And even when I switch sides in the night, I don’t have to reposition the pillow because the C ends curl around enough that it’s basically the same support on the open side as well. And because it is so big/long, it stays in place all night.

The Snoogle can also be folded, bent and manipulated into other shapes for comfort while reading, watching TV or breastfeeding. I like folding it in half and using it as a back and arm rests while watching TV. And based on my nanny experience, I'm sure that when my child is older the Snoogle will be a favorite pillow to use when building a fort!

I know I sound like an advertisement, but I have lost so much precious sleep during this pregnancy and it looks like the Snoogle may be the lifeline that gets me through until the birth. I just wanted other women to know that I am very satisfied with it.

I bought mine at Babies R Us but you can also find them online (see above link) or if you want to save money you can find them secondhand on Craigslist etc. New covers are available as well.

advertisement photo: Pillowpedia

Kicks.

I can now feel when baby has the hiccups. I can see my stomach jump when she kicks hard and I can see my stomach move as she rolls around. As much as I want to revel in the magic and beauty of it all, I will admit that it's driving me a little nuts!

Of course I wouldn't change it for the world and I am thankful for the kicks because they let me know she is still OK in there. And feeling her get stronger is priceless. But...

I started feeling her little flutters at 14 weeks, which is quite early for a first time mom. And I'm 24 weeks as I write this. So it has been 10 weeks of kicks already. And I am still a month away from the time when I need to start counting the kicks to make sure she is not too busy but not to still. So I have months of kicking left to go.

I've read and heard that this is the most beautiful part of pregnancy, and it is precious to lay still in the evening and watch my belly flip and know that just below my palm is my daughter, but to me the kicks feel like an eye twitch. You know the feeling when your lower eyelid is fluttering? Well that is what it feels like except it's my tummy and it's a very good portion of the day.

More so at night. Last night I was desperately trying to fall asleep (wedged at all sides with pillows to support various swollen and sore body parts) and little lady just wouldn't lay still. So I was subjected to belly twitches until after 2:30 in the morning at which point I finally stopped checking the clock. I got up at 6:00 am for work.

Now, there are times when she doesn't kick and these times seem to last about a day and a half. I bet you think that must be quite a relief for me? NO! It's even worse when she doesn't kick because it always seems to be just long enough for me to convince myself that something is terribly wrong in there. And once the idea that she might be in peril is in my head I quickly spiral out of control. Do I call my midwife? Do I read the chapters in the pregnancy books that have already explained to me that this is normal? Do I just say "F it" and head to the emergency room because after all I pay taxes and this could be an emergency? Do I wait it out? By then will it be to late?

Yup no kicking is definitely worse than constant kicking. So I'm stuck.

To my friends that say, "isn't it the most beautiful feeling ever?" I say you either have nerves of steal and can switch seamlessly between the equivalent of Chinese water torture and the sinking horror that something might be wrong with your baby or you are a liar!

I will tell it like it is: Yes, baby kicks are entertaining for about 20 minutes a day. Then their presence subtly gets under your skin (pun intended) for the rest of the day. Then the kicks stop and for a little while you can relax. And then the panic sets in that the kicks have stopped and you spend the next few hours bargaining with God. Then the whole pattern repeats.

Yes. Nature is beautiful.